On this day in 1787 Mozart’s opera Don Giovanni opened for the first time in Prague.
Recently I’ve had several conversations about sexual misconduct and ministers and Zen teachers.
And Don Juan’s story certainly fits the bill…
Great passion, great falls…
In my UU denomination we tend to swing wildly between libertine and puritanical approaches to matters sexual. In my Zen communities, we seem to do the same.
Sex is a big one, no doubt. It is about heaven. It is about hell. It is about the real up front, and occasionally ugly.
I do think the current trending within my spiritual institutions is unrealistic. It essentially asserts no person in authority can ethically have sexual relationships with people in their spiritual care.
As far as the ministers and teachers are concerned, if they cannot have the possibility of intimate relationships within these communities they’re in a world of hurt. I know for my own life and I see it among the colleagues, both UU and Zen, that people in leadership rarely have lives outside their spiritual communities.
So…
And, yes, there is the possibility of abuse, a very real possibility of abuse that arises within the peculiar power dynamics of spiritual authority.
But, come on, all relationships are uneven one way or another. That’s part of the spice of life.
Pretending otherwise is pretending…
So, what is the ethical way? What is the appropriate way for people to have full lives that include that sexual dimension?
Sadly, I don’t have an answer.
I am glad I’m not on the market, as it were. It’s so difficult.
I suspect some real boundaries, but not so firm as are generally being presented, make sense. As does compassion.
And, very much, the call of heart…
And I can see how the passionate life, the sexual life, opens gates to hell.
But, I know also, heaven is there, as well…
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