I should be sleeping now

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

Salaam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah

Yeah, yeah, I know.  I put Zaid down to sleep half an hour ago.  I should have plopped down next to him right away.  I’m not drowsy at the moment so I’m waiting for the urge to snooze to kick in.  I figured I’d visit my poor neglected blog and see if we’re still on speaking terms.

First of all, Ramadan Mubarak to all my Muslim brothers and sisters.  I pray you are having a beneficial Ramadan and that Allah accepts your fasts, your prayers, and your du’as, Ameen.  Can’t believe we’re more than halfway through already, subhanAllah.  I’m not really into the vibe this year as I’m mostly homebound due to the new baby.  Just  not up to schlepping the whole crew to the masjid and then trying to keep them from kicking over other people’s drink cups.

I was fasting for the last few days, but today I had to break my fast.  I think the rigors of having a baby and then nursing, and not sleeping at night – I  promise  I’ll go to bed soon – have really taken it out of me.  The last three days I’ve been flat out exhausted, peering through heavy eyelids at the world and slogging through a mental fog.  Today I could not stay up after seeing my older two kids off to school.  I was non-functional.  Now, when you have an elderly ailing father-in-law and three kids four and under in the house, that’s downright dangerous.  I realized that I was not physically fit to fast and that I’d better get up, eat, drink, take some vitamins, and put myself on track to recover fully from giving birth to my little sweetie Zaid.  Allah gives us this permission, and I tried to fast, but I think it would be wrong of me to continue and harm myself or allow my lack of focus to harm my kids.  And Allah knows best.  InshAllah I’ll be able to make up the fasting later on.

I really felt like a different person this afternoon after I’d eaten.  Nothing like a handful of vitamins to wake you up.  That and coffee.  I was even able to play with the kids and do some things around the house.  Cleaned the bathroom, woo-hoo.

Okay, enough dawdling.  I feel my eyelids just beginning to droop, so I shall toddle off to bed to get – oh, gee, one and a half hours of sleep before suhoor.  Even if I’m not fasting, there are two others in the household who are.  I have to pour some water down their throats and put a turkey sandwich or something in their hands.

Perhaps tomorrow I will revisit you, my poor patient blog, and write something profound and enlightening.  Or maybe not.