And Now, For Something Less Controversial….

And Now, For Something Less Controversial…. May 4, 2011
Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim
Salaam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah
Well, the fallout from the OBL situation continues.  But I have faith in the short attention span of many of My Fellow Americans, so no doubt they’ll be on to the Next Big Story soon.  Like, what will be the summer’s blockbuster movie or who will win on that new show, “The Voice”.  You know, important stuff, vital to our future.
For everyone who is wondering what went on in the last couple of weeks, let’s review:  There was a huge outbreak of tornadoes across the South that led to the deaths of about 300 people and caused widespread havoc and destruction.  More homes were lost to foreclosure as banks continue to fraudulently close on homes whose owners never missed a payment, or the banks lose paperwork or make it impossible to figure out what’s actually going on, and, oh, yeah, they got a few billion dollars from the government a while back so the government SHOULD be monitoring what’s going on but they’re not.
There is a continuing disaster in Japan as the nuclear reactors spew radiation.  I know that hasn’t been in the news for a week or two because it’s officially “old  news” and it won’t become relevant again until four-headed fishes start showing up at the market.  Oh, and remember that Gulf oil spill from waaaay back last year?  You know how they said all the oil just magically disappeared and went into an alternate universe or Donald Trump’s hairpiece?  Well, now dead oil-saturated baby dolphins are washing up on shore, which most people think is a bad thing but I think we can turn this into good news by  making dolphin sushi that also can be used as a laxative cause all the oil will make it go right through you.
They had to blow a hole in a levee in Ohio to flood some farmland in Missouri so the more-populated town  of Cairo (pronounced KAY-ro, like the syrup) wouldn’t flood so bad.  Farmers in Missouri are upset that their fertile farmland will be covered in silt and there are now about one hundred homes there that will flood due to the intentional levee breach.  But I’m confused.  I thought the silting of farmland would be a good thing, because it would enrich the soil.  Isn’t that what happened for centuries in Egypt when the Nile would flood every year?  I guess that only works in Cairo and not Cairo.

Gas is around $4 a gallon, still less expensive per ounce than perfume, contact lens cleaning solution, eyedrops, or organic milk.  They need to have defibrillators at the pumping islands at my local gas stations for when people have heart attacks after filling up the tank.  Wait, don’t those things send an electric charge? Never mind; that might be a bad idea.  Hate to see some poor guy get shocked back to life and then explode.  Kinda defeats the purpose.

I could go on, but I supposed I’ve depressed you all enough for one morning.  You get the idea.  The death – or not – of OBL is only one item on a much bigger agenda, and it is probably the single thing that affects us least in our daily lives. 

Now, in my daily life, I’m dealing with a fussy baby, loads of laundry that don’t magically disappear any more than the Gulf oil, kids who need shoes, a muddy front yard that defies all my efforts to grow grass on it, and a lot of other stuff that is pretty important to me but would probably bore you.  So I’ll get on with it because my coffee is gone so I don’t have an excuse any more to sit at the computer.  Gotta go eat my eggs and toast and then I think I’ll start with trying to get lunch together.  Leftovers sound good, really good.
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