Inscrutable

I’m finding these days a struggle. We are going through quite a difficult time. I have to admit to you: God’s silence and apparent absence is profound right now. I really don’t understand what’s happening, how things are being orchestrated, or which direction to take. If only God were predictable! If only I could understand his ways! If only I could read his thoughts! But this, I’ve come to the conclusion after Paul, is impossible. His thoughts and his ways are beyond finding out. They are inscrutable. Period.

When it comes down to it, I have to learn to rest in this persistent reality. That’s number one. I cannot see. I cannot feel. I cannot hear. But somehow, I have to learn to trust from within this silent, numb darkness. Number two is that I can enjoy the company of my wife, my family and my friends. My community. I can see them. I can feel them. I can hear them. This is a gift to me. To love and be loved. And to actually physically, emotionally and spiritually take pleasure in them. And this is my greatest joy.

I think this is about the Spirit. I’m thinking this deafening silence and profound absence, but firmly rooted in a real local community is somehow the presence of the Spirit.

The image is a painting of mine titled, “The Wooded Lane”.