cartoon: bad connections

cartoon: bad connections March 19, 2009

disconnected_2

This happens all the time in our community. It happens to all of us. I think this week alone I’ve had three different people tell me they’re feeling disconnected from the community. It happens to me, even when I’m probably the most involved. Sometimes I have to chuckle because for some of us it is self-inflicted. We are feeling a little insecure. We pull back a little bit. We notice we don’t feel as connected as before, which feeds our insecurities, which motivates us to pull back a little further, which only confirms our suspicions that we don’t belong. Last week I was talking with one person who said they don’t feel connected to the community. I asked him, “Do you think it would help if you came?” He laughed, realizing the silliness of his position. Another young lady was complaining that nobody spoke to her on Sunday mornings. I tried to explain that almost everyone else is feeling the same way. I told her that I would guarantee that if she started saying hi to people, that they would start saying hi back. Initiate! The gravitational pull of the human race is towards either the worst: alienation and isolation; or the best: superficial networks. There is usually an easy solution to this problem: go to some of the community events. Get involved. Invite people over. In fact, I encourage people to invite themselves over! Lisa and I do it: “Hi! We’re just coming back from town and have a bottle of wine. We’re wondering if we can just drop in. We miss you guys!” It almost always works.

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