She Won’t Go Anymore

I have a very good friend who used to be a very devout Christian and church-goer. She isn’t anymore. She is intelligent, a deep thinker, and fiercely independent.

Why she doesn’t go to church anymore? Because her intelligence, deep thinking and independence are not respected. I don’t mean her feelings are hurt because people don’t applaud these things about her, but because they are simply not respected. Therefore she is not respected.

Here’s what she intuits when she walks into the church: hostility to diversity of thought; pressure to conform her beliefs to the norm; the most immature thinking rules the roost; she can spectate but not participate; anxious adherence to eroded ideas and the fear of questioning them; cold hard adherence to expectations; lovelessness.

She would actually like to go. She likes many of the individuals who attend. But, she says, when they get together they morph into a mindless mob. But she has the distinct sense, and correct one probably, that she is not really welcomed nor will be missed. I think she would carry incredible assets into the community, but her presence would be seen as a minus until she followed convention.