Big Picture Not So Clear

One of the questions I was asked in my interview for my new job teaching international students was, “How easily do you adapt to change?” I answered that there are two kinds of change: one that you don’t ask for but happens to you; and the kind you initiate. I told them that I was good and experienced at initiating change I thought was necessary and good. And I told them that I’ve learned to handle the stress of unwelcome change and negotiate my way to tranquility again.

My life has changed. But both at the same time: initiated by me, but not entirely welcome or easily negotiable. I’m experiencing a bit of trauma.

I realize I could no longer work for and receive my income from the institutional church. I also realize that I need to responsibly support my family and provide income. I do feel this job is a gift and I receive it with deep gratitude and joy. However, I told Lisa that I couldn’t see the big picture right now. How does this fit into the story of my life? Or, how does this fit under the blessedness of my life? That’s something I simply have to entrust right now.

She figures something like this: I have always contemplated, worked toward, and write about unity. Even my Z-theory is an attempt to articulate a unifying theory for the Spirit of Jesus and all religions and philosophies. I have also been very frustrated with the church’s general reluctance or even refusal to see the Spirit of Jesus beyond its walls. And here I am plopped into the middle of a wide range of international students from all over the world: Saudi Arabia, Iran, Bangladesh, China, Korea and Japan, to name a few… and all the religions and philosophies these students represent.

Today was my first full day on the campus. It is wonderful to discern the Spirit of Jesus in every person one encounters. Somehow this is going to help me articulate something my spirit wishes to understand and say.

The painting pictured here, Mystic North #2, is available HERE. It is a watercolor measuring 4″x8″ (10cm x 20cm).