A Victim is Just That

My cartoon this morning called “Victim Impact Statement”, along with the 5 steps to writing an impact statement, was a serious attempt to address what I think is an important issue for people hurt by the church.

There is something we should understand. Yes, you might consider yourself weak and let someone walk all over you. You might not be very aware of your boundaries and you allowed them to be crossed. You might be overly respectful of authority and allowed yourself to be intimidated. Yes, you might find it hard to say no and let yourself be worked into the ground.

But we are talking about abuse here.

The abused’s disposition and the abuser’s actions are separate. Your disposition and actions, no matter how weak or provocative, never justifies you being abused. Never. You may provoke… either by your weakness or by your provocations or whatever… but it may never justify abuse.

Example: no matter how angry you make your husband, it never ever justifies him slamming your head against a wall.

So the victim impact statement should be clear of how you feel you might have allowed or provoked the abuser. It shouldn’t enter into it. They are separate issues. The statement is not only meant to make the offender aware of the impact of his actions, but to help you be clear of how you were violated.