cartoon: gay cross

cartoon: gay cross April 7, 2011

I have some friends who are gay for whom their sexuality is no big deal. They accept it, embrace it and are comfortable with it. It is not a huge struggle for them. It might have been while they came to terms with it and came out. But they don’t worry about it anymore.

I have other friends who are gay for whom their orientation is a monstrous existential and spiritual struggle. They wrestle with their god and with the religious community and with their society and with themselves. It is an unabating and painful reality for them. It is their cross.

This cartoon’s for them.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Joey

    Are those crickets I hear chirping….?

  • David,
    I think you really shed a light on this issue with those few words. Powerful and thought provoking.

    Those who wrestle with it because of the religion they’re involved in..don’t we all wrestle with one thing or another?…Because of the religion we follow?

    And that may be the thing that needs to be repented of most…religion. It kills.

  • Joey

    I agree, Sister Lisa, religion kills & is suffocating! Been there, done that. Jesus gives us true freedom.

  • Kyle

    I’ve seen the whole gambit: from first a sexual awareness just before puberty(which happened to coincide with a spiritual awakening), then on to a suppression of my sexuality to make my spiritual “accounts” balance, and finally an acceptance of the realness of my nature(and the final loss of faith).

    Had I been raised in a family that accepted people like me, I may never have had any reason to cut my religious roots.

    The moral of my story, for any parents in the audience, is that you should love your child first, then your religious convictions afterward. You might lose your offspring otherwise, whether to the “world” or because your child tries to kill themselves(twice) because they cannot hold in the guilt placed upon them–and possibly both.

    If the words of Jesus mean anything to anyone, then love first and theologize second.

  • Abbie

    Again, thank you. 🙂

  • Exactly.

  • Christine

    Since you’ve posted this, I’ve been trying to figure out which one of those I am.

    I read the first one, and that’s me. It’s absolutely me. So much, I feel like the very image of that. The person anyone I know might point to when they read it as the very definition of that.

    But when I read the second one, I didn’t think “those poor people…” or “I know people like that”, or even “that was me, thank God that’s over”. My thought was more like “I’ve got a little of that”, or “I feel like that sometimes”, or, worst of all, “that could be me again any day now”.

    To be honest, I’ve really only been completely in that place for about three hours in my whole life. So I’m damn lucky. But I’m not sure we ever completely escape the impact of it for good.

    When God, Christianity, and the church are your whole life, it feels like the whole world is telling you one thing, that the universe is a unified voice – one that you’ve gone against. It doesn’t matter, of course, that it was never the whole world, and the voice was always far from unified, it doesn’t matter that only one aspect of your life and self-identity has changed, it’s the impression of defying everything, a whole worldview – your own worldview, that sticks with you.

    And it doesn’t matter how certain you are. The kicker is, you remember how certain you used to be about so many things. You remember that “certainty” was always just a cover for fear that something wasn’t true. So, you are most suscipious of that of which you are most certain. So time, experience, reason, judgement, and even scripture – which increase one’s certainty – are no match for endless doubt about everything.

    So, there’s always that possibility, that wolf lingering at the door, that you are less than, less worthy, or less loved. And some days, even a small reminder of the prejudice, even in a sea of acceptance, can bring you back, the antithesis of nostalgia, to the nightmare you once lived, in brief or in part, and shake your calm, your sense of safe.

    You dare not admit your doubts, though, because there are wolves out there, who will mistake it for weakness, for wavering, and will seek to tear you apart while the moment is ripe.

    I once read a commentary where a gay man said that the LBGT community must be ever vigilent against the creeping tendency of self-hatred, of self loathing. I don’t fear the self-loathing – but I do remember my darkest thoughts about what my being gay might mean about how God felt about me. (And remember – I’m one of the very lucky ones.)

    Of course, the evangelical community has made a campaign of saying that rejecting homosexuality doesn’t need to be like that. “Love the sinner, hate the sin”, “reorientation”, “hope for the homosexual” has all been geared to mask that pain and damage caused by the belief that gay love or gay sex is sin.

    But either I’ve been asked for a terrible sacrifice – one that would mean I was undeserving of happiness, companionship, or family – for an arbitrary indistinct (a clear bias by God against me), or I’m hard-wired from birth to be satisfied, nurtured, and bettered – made my very best self – only from pure evil, in which case I am certainly evil myself. No evangelical PR compaign can change that.

    Which is why I’m glad of the other thing that struck me about your comments: that there were only those two states – peace in acceptance or pain in unacceptance.

    There are only those two – something we all learn the hard way.

  • Crystal

    Did you know ? – anyone out there- that there are gays amongst the animal kingdom? I’ve always been told that animals can’t sin, because they don’t think like humans. They are prewired to follow their instincts. So, what is that all about? Someone enlighten me please. ( I’m not saying that being gay is to sin- that’s not where I’m coming from at all, but just pointing out about animals being that way too, so that kind of kills the gay sinning thing, don’t you think?)

    I’m so tired of gays getting all the crap…Crystal.

  • Crystal,

    While I think there are many good reasons to say that homosexuality is not sinful, the fact that animals engage in gay sex is not sufficient to say that. While that little fact certainly does reveal how ridiculous the “natural law” argument that many use is, we certainly could not go as far as to say that anything found in the animal kingdom cannot be sinful or morally wrong for us humans. There are also species of animals that eat their own young, but nobody (at least nobody sane) would claim that such behaviour would be acceptable for humans.