We Need Our Enemies

I need enemies.

This is the theme I plan on speaking on at Northaven United Methodist Church in Dallas, Texas on Sunday night. Here’s a little preview:

I have enemies. There are people who I don’t like. Who have opposed me. Who I wish weren’t in my life. Who have hurt me. Who have hurt people I love. Who repulse me. Who shock me. Who I want nothing to do with. Who I want to suffer for what they’ve done.

I don’t agree with the syrupy New Age idea that we are all one sweet happy family. I don’t agree with the silly idea that if I just understood my enemy then I would see that he has the same feelings that I do and that I would therefore like him and love him.

Frequently, when I talk about loving my enemies, someone will inevitably respond that they aren’t really my enemy. I just need to understand them. That they really didn’t mean to hurt me or my loved ones. That deep down they are sweet adorable lovable people, and that if I just saw this that there would be no problem.

Often, they are very spiritual people who assert this. But I ask such people, “What do you do with one of the most famous teachings of Jesus that we love our enemies and bless them?” Do we say to Jesus, “If you only really knew this person, he wouldn’t be your enemy, but a friend“?

I assert that we need our enemies in order to truly learn how to love. As Jesus also insisted, what’s the big deal about loving your family and friends? Everybody does that. That’s a natural love that many already possess. The challenge is to love the “other”, the different, the stranger, the alien, the disgusting, the revolting, the repulsive, the violent, the avenger, the oppressor, the aggressor.

So for Jesus, what it came down to was not how we felt towards the “other”, but how we treated the “other”. It’s not just about loving our enemy, but forgiving him. It’s not just about positive thoughts about the enemy, but about not retaliating. It’s not just feeling warm feelings for the enemy, but blessing him.

What this means for individuals, institutions, nations and the world is significant because it must translate into policy.

So I don’t know about you, but I need my enemies to prove that I really do love.

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