Bitterness

Some say that when they read my blog they think, “Now there’s somebody who’s been really hurt by the church!” Others have accused me of bitterness. I think about that a lot. Here’s what I have to say about that:

Yes, I have things to be bitter about. Some people say to me, “I’ve been in the church my whole life and never been hurt once!” I’ll tell you what I think is happening: I write about my experiences. Sure, you can sail through church your whole life without getting hurt… until you open your mouth and question or challenge something. Sure, I’ve experienced some bad things. But you could say I asked for it every single time.
Yes, I have gone through seasons of bitterness. Just the other day a young woman said she was really angry and struggling with bitterness towards her church. I told her to feel it to the full. I believe, when you’ve been hurt by someone, that you should admit that you have been hurt. I claim you need to feel the pain, the anger and even the bitterness. Otherwise you are in danger of denial where the bitterness goes deeper and takes root and becomes destructive.
Yes, I have fought against my bitterness taking root. Hebrews 12:15 warns against bitterness taking root. It doesn’t warn against bitterness. Read some of the Psalms or Lamentations or the prophets. I detect a tone of bitterness. Don’t you? But it’s one thing to experience the bitterness, and it’s another thing to let it go so deep that it takes root, totally takes over your heart and mind, and becomes the entire tone of your life. As you can see from my cartoon above, there are plenty of ways into the pool of bitterness. But there are also plenty of ways out.
Yes, my blog is sometimes bitter. I am “naked” with my feelings and thoughts. I’m honest. But I want you to see what a pastor or any other honest and open person can experience within the church. I’m not trying to promote a certain image of myself. I’m just sharing myself with you. Sometimes I am happy. Sometimes sad. Sometimes encouraging. Sometimes bitter. I try to write without the cursed edit button always on… which basically describes life within the church for so many people. No thanks.
Yes, I will turn my bitterness into helpfulness. A good friend, reader and fan of nakedpastor, noted to me the other day that she’s noticed a real change in the tone of my blog lately. She said that it seems more positive and helpful for others. I did make a decision several months ago that I wanted my blog to be less selfish and more helpful. I realized that it is one thing to experience what I experience and share that. It’s another to take this and turn it into wisdom and compassion for others. I could just stew in my own juices forever. Or I can serve myself up for others to hopefully learn and benefit from my life. I do want to serve.

So… experience bitterness. I encourage it. But let’s not stay there. I encourage that too.

Buy the original drawing of “Bitterness” or buy a print of “Bitterness”.