new Sophia drawing “is”

new Sophia drawing “is” January 12, 2013
sophia drawing "is" by nakedpastor david hayward
Sophia “is” (ink & colored pencil on paper, 8″x10″)

The original and prints are available in my store.

My Sophia series reflects an interesting journey for me. I began drawing her when I left the ministry and the church in March of 2010. It wasn’t intentional and I didn’t notice the connection at the time. It wasn’t until several drawings in that I realized Sophia was me. I was drawing the spiritual journey of my own soul.

Every weekend I would work on my Sophia drawings and post them and would get amazing responses, mostly from women. I also got responses from men who are in touch with their feminine side, their anima, and recognized their own journeys in Sophia’s.

I’ve lost the inspiration to continue drawing her. It’s not that I won’t. I’m sure she’ll reappear again. But this drawing, “is”, is the final in a 52 drawing series that I will compile into a graphic book. This book will give a pictorial and poetic account of her fascinating journey from her captivity to her freedom, her independence.

Of course, this drawing, “is”, conjures up the story of Eve. Eve ate of the forbidden fruit and gained knowledge. Here, Sophia not only takes one bite, but indulges herself. She’s going to know! She’s going to understand! She must be herself, fulfill her destiny, and BE! She IS. She can say with full confidence, “I AM!”

I’m a Canadian in Canada. There is something very interesting happening here. The aboriginal peoples have launched a movement called “Idle No More”. They are demanding respect for their treatise, their land and their reserves, as well as their traditions. A journalist yesterday said that he thinks it is predominantly fueled by the leadership of young, educated aboriginal women. I looked at Lisa and said, “Educated women. Trouble!” Joking of course.

I am excited about what women are doing and what’s going to become of the groundswell of female intelligence and independence. Aren’t you?

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  • Carol

    That is the “dangerous old woman” myth, sometimes called the “Wise Old Woman Myth” or simply “The Grandmothers.”

    It is is often lost in patriarchal cultures.



    Archive for the ‘Blessing-Poems from Dangerous Old Woman fireside’ Category
    In Blessing-Poems from Dangerous Old Woman fireside on May 12, 2010 at 1:24 AM

    One more blessing here for you now dear souls. Just put your hand over your heart, or just lean back, or rest your hands palm up in your lap… just relax, and take a deep breath.
    by C.P. Estés
    Going over and over one’s fears
    is empty
    and emptying.
    There’s something greater that sustains.
    We call it Esperanza… Hope.
    We call it Querer es podar, Desire is power.
    Hope and desire are power.
    Ha, hum—fear.
    Pstt, pssh, poof.

    Consider that most fear
    is not fear of failure:
    rather, it’s fear to live fully,
    in full power.

    Choose your petty fears carefully,
    because they can grow truly big teeth.
    Instead, draw your attention here…
    I have several fears
    I would like you to have…
    Fear these:

    Fear not loving
    while you have the chance.
    Fear becoming bitter.
    Fear cynicism.
    Fear turning to stone.
    Fear living underwhelmed by everything.
    When the culture drags you back and forth between being fearful and being a person who gives blessings…
    Give blessings.

    When the culture drags you back and forth between being fearful and being merciful…
    Be merciful.
    When the culture drags you back and forth between being fearful and being forgiving…
    Be forgiving.
    When the culture drags you back and forth between fearing and loving…
    When the great “they” say it must be decided, one or the other,
    you can either be fearful, or do the other,
    be loving…
    refuse to do only one.
    Choose all of them.
    Be fearful, and bless others.
    Be fearful, and be merciful.
    Be fearful, and forgive.
    Be fearful, and do.
    Be fearful, and love.

    It is by doing…
    by doing the blessing,
    doing the mercy, doing the forgiveness,
    doing the loving, and doing the doing…
    that fear is dissipated.
    CODA: The above photo is photoshopped by a designer and is one of my favorite pictures. It runs with and without the quote on it but particularly, havent you felt this in dreams or perhaps in reality… That your wings are ready, just strong, turgid even, and ready to, deeply anxious to soar? The winged one is a strong archetypal image that has to do with ‘getting it,’ with delivering ‘the needed message.’ So many act as angel to us, and sometimes we to them.
    with love,

  • Syl

    As I read the story of Eve and the “forbidden fruit” it’s not about disobedience or sin. It’s about growing up and the loss of innocence – innocent ignorance, replaced by knowledge of both the good and the evil – the helpful and the harmful, the joy and the suffering – that is part of all our lives. But with first-hand knowledge of life, humanity, and suffering can also come wisdom if we are able to see it. Sophia is learning, tasting what she’s not previously known, and gaining understanding she would not otherwise know. There have been challenges and pain, but also achievement and joy. She may no longer live in the garden, but she has the whole of life and the world before her. She cannot go back – only forward, into a life as joyous as she has the wisdom to find.

  • Lance Spoke Spurr

    Brilliant! I can identify with Sophie and her ISm. Good shout out to intellegent women too. May we all help each other and love each other more.

  • Cowpunkmom

    I looked at the painting before reading your description, and this was my impression:

    Poor Sophia. She is hungry for knowledge, taking a bite from every apple, but all it has done is leave her sick, naked, and alone.

  • Carol

    Cowpunkmom, I suppose our motivation for seeking knowledge does have a lot to do with the consequences:

    There are those who seek knowledge for the sake of knowledge;
    That is Curiosity.
    There are those who seek knowledge to be known by others;
    that is Vanity.
    There are those who seek knowledge in order to serve;
    that is Love.”
    -Bernard of Clairvaux 1090-1153

  • Kris

    Sophia has always been depicted as naked and alone. I think the nakedness represents her vulnerability and willingness to vulnerable. We are ashamed of our nakedness and hide it but Sophia is willing to expose herself to find herself.

    She is alone because this is her journey and no one else’s. Spirituality is a very individual journey.

    Personally I think with each bite she has gained knowledge, worked through fear and doubt and broken barriers. Ultimately, her experiences have made her wiser, which is often overwhelming.

  • She need not look so glum. Her off-spring will crush the serpent’s head.

    Wisdom is not evil. But getting to know evil wasn’t so good for us.

  • Carol

    Innocence that is appropriate in a child becomes naivete, a sign of arrested development, in an adult.

    Trial and error is how we humans learn and grow. The blame comes when, instead of acknowledging our own responsibility for the error part, we project the “evil” we have done onto others. Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the Serpent. Unless we take responsibility, own our errors in judgment, lack of trust in God, sins against charity, etc., we cannot receive the Grace of God’s forgiveness necessary to restore intimacy and trust to a relationship.