Narrative and Nuance
I began this series (Part 1 and Part 2 can be found here) by pointing out how difficult it is to understand identity when you experience same-sex attraction. There is no shortage of competing voices speaking into your life at any point. The voices that compete for our attention are cultural, family, tradition, reputation, and perhaps the loudest and most confusing, religious. I tried to listen to all these voices, many of them causing me paralyzing fear.
My struggle with identity lasted well into marriage! The truth is; I lived in a quiet shame for the attractions I experienced and privately believed they put an asterisk next to my chosen identity as a believer in Jesus Christ.
Sure I was a Christian but I was also a man that experienced ongoing temptations that I let define me. It did not matter that I fought this temptation and lived an upright an honest walk before the Lord and in my marriage. I still let these base attractions define me.
Five years ago a new day came. I cannot describe the circumstances other than knowing that the Spirit of God was speaking to me through my study of scripture. I was pondering I Corinthians 6 and Ephesians 2:4. “But God” and “Such were some of you” rang in my head. I tried to understand how God could save me by his mercy, declare that I “was” formerly defined by my sinful pattern of life, and yet allow me to battle homosexuality. God spoke so very clearly to my heart that day, and I realized something that changed everything for me.
We are not defined by the presence of indwelling sin but by the covering of Christs blood, that defeated sin and declares us sons and daughters!
I realized that I was a son and an heir to all the promises of God and despite the attractions that I could not control Christ defined me and not the presence of a fallen nature. We do not get to decide what we tempts us or attracts us. I realize that might be hard for some to hear. However, the presence of errant attractions is not my defining essence but rather my decision to walk in a new life and a new identity.
The truth that my temptations or attraction no longer defined me had the effect of offering me immense freedom!
This new day and new identity did not occur to me in a vacuum. I have been so blessed to have great pastors and great communities willing to walk along side me to honor Christ and live into a new Identity. God allowed all of those influences and accountability structures to be a part of what he was doing in my heart that day.
The truth is that I have ben privileged to have great influences and churches in my life that understood the balance of grace and truth, and they were prepared to walk with me. I am here today and walking with the Lord because he has profoundly used each pastor, church, small group, and counselor in my life.
However, for too many same-sex attracted believers and their families, churches that understand and are willing to walk with them seem more like a dream than a reality. A large part of the church is not ready to walk with those living with sexual identity struggles. Far too many pastors mean well but are not equipped to train their ministry and small group leaders to counsel, disciple, and shepherd those in need of help.
We do not have enough safe places for sin and struggles to be talked about early. Instead many quietly battle desires that are best defeated by openness in community.
These realities are compounded by the fact that our churches, denominations, and evangelical spokespersons have largely focused on the cultural battle over same-sex marriage. They have not attended to the individuals in their bodies, their communities, their places of business, and their families.
Please do not read this as a condemnation of the church, but rather a plea. I love the church and know that she is part of God’s answer to our world in need of servant care and leadership. I am here because God used the church to walk with me. So I am frustrated when she fails to be all that she is ordained to be.
I believe the church is the hope of the world, and I refuse to let my frustration be my final answer to Christ, concerning his church. The Church can rise and be an important reflection of Christ in the midst of this cultural moment.
God has used this ache and desire to prepare my heart and Casey’s heart over the last several years. He has increasingly given us a voice among pastors and individuals seeking perspective or counsel. When I have had opportunities to help, my heart has been overjoyed. Casey has a heart for mothers and wives in need of answers and someone to walk with them.
Simply put, we believe God has called us for such a time as this! We have prayed through our calling; we have sought the counsel of many who know us best and we believe that the Identify Network is the answer to this calling.
The Identify Network is the reality of this new day and a new identity. The purpose of Identify will be to equip and resource churches, pastors, ministry leaders, and congregations to shepherd, disciple, and counsel those living with same-sex attraction and gender dysphoria. Further, we will be a counseling connection between individuals and families needing care and churches that have partnered with our network and provide this counsel and discipleship.
In the coming days, we will be sending out our official newsletter and directing you to our website to learn more about us and how we will operate, as well as the resources we will be offering.
We are so excited to be a part of what God seems to be doing in preparing his church to be the light of Christ. A church prepared to love the way Jesus loved while humbly standing upon the convictions of our faith rooted in who God is.
For this vision to become a reality, we need resources. Like all non-profits, these resources will come from the hearts of people like you partnering with us because you believe the solutions we are offering will help change the culture and conversation in our churches. We are offering our yes to life and ministry of service to the church. We desire to see her become a beacon of hope to those living with same-sex attraction, gender identity, and countless families, friends, and coworkers who need understanding to love well.
Would you consider partnering with us?
We would be honored for you to be a part of this and consider your support both in prayer and finances to be the front line in this needed ministry. We value your prayers first and your finances second! We assume that financial gifts come with hearts of prayer and we want you to know we are humbled by this need and are thankful for your willingness to come alongside us.
Below and above you can click on the PushPay button that will direct you to our giving page, and you will be able to set up your donation in less than a minute. We are asking that you prayerfully consider how you can be a part of this ministry.
We want to put an emphasis on monthly and reoccurring gifts as this will help us budget for all the needs we have and to have a consistent source of financial resources. So we ask that you consider this as a means of sacrificial giving to The Identify Network.
Finally, you can give on the go or tell others about us. With any mobile device you can text: Identify to 77977 and you will be directed to give on your mobile device.
We are humbled by your partnership and we are looking for great things from the Lord.
The best is yet to come!
Dan and Casey
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