Prometheus, Part Two

This is a continuation of an article posted last Friday, you can find that article by clicking here.

In the next installment of the Prometheus myth, Epimetheus points out that the newly-created human beings can’t defend themselves against the other animals. But don’t worry, Prometheus has a plan!

And just like last time –

Full script is below:

Epimetheus: Prometheus, the human beings are so weak and defenseless.

Prometheus: I have a plan. I’m going up to Mount Olympus, where Zeus and all the powerful gods and goddesses live.

Epimetheus: You’re going to ask Zeus for some more gifts for the human beings. Maybe some warm fur. Maybe Zeus could give them stingers and pincers, too!

Prometheus: If I did that, Zeus would say, Why did Epimetheus forget to give any gifts to the human beings? Then he would probably chain you to a rock and let an eagle peck at your belly.

Epimetheus: OK, let’s come up with a different plan.

Zeus: Look at all those creatures we made!

Athena: They all look so happy.

Poseidon: Porpoises and whales and fish swimming around.

Zeus: Wow, did you see that?

Athena: An opossum just ate one of the human beings.

Poseidon: It looks like the humans have no way of protecting themselves.

Hephaestus: Did you just hear something?

Athena: That sounded like someone was sneaking around your forge.

Hephaestus: That sounded like someone sneaking around your workshop.

Poseidon: Oh, you guys are just imagining things.

Zeus: It might be that troublemaker, Prometheus.

Athena: No, now I don’t hear anything.

Poseidon: Look at those jellyfish. I think jellyfish are the best creature any of us created.

Zeus: I think the creatures I created are the best.

Hephaestus: Of course, yours are the best of all, Zeus!

Epimetheus: Took you long enough to get back.

Prometheus: I stole fire from Hephaestus, and I stole the arts of Athena.

Epimetheus: Dude, Zeus is going to be SO angry!

Prometheus: Well, I had to get SOMETHING to give to the humans so they wouldn’t all get killed off.

Epimetheus: It’s true, they do need help. Do you know that an opossum ate one of the humans for lunch?

Prometheus: Wow, that’s bad. I’d better give the humans some fire and wisdom right away.

Prometheus: Here you go, have some fire. No no no, you put it in a fireplace and cook things over it.

Epimetheus: Prometheus, you have a heart of gold. But Zeus is going to see this as an act of rebellion.

Prometheus: Well, a response of rebellion can be soteriologically authentic.

Epimetheus: Maybe so. But what if Zeus catches you?

Prometheus: Don’t worry. I have a plan.