#8: 11 Ways to Make Your Marriage Awesome

I wrote three posts in honor of my marriage anniversary. Here’s the one that cracked the top ten:

On Monday I started a series of posts on marriage in honor of my eleven year marriage anniversary. Today is part two, on 11 Ways to Make Your Marriage Awesome. In no way do I claim that this list is exhaustive or comprehensive. These are simply eleven things you can do to improve your marriage. Hope it helps!

1. Pray together every day. This simple spiritual act will cover over a multitude of hurts and bring you together in ways you never thought possible. Try it for two weeks and see what happens!

2. Get the kids out of the bed. If you’ve got young kids, you know what I’m talking about. They’re going to want to sleep with you. Don’t let them. Wives can use it as an excuse to avoid intimacy. You need that time together, alone. Even if you’re just sleeping. Kick them out.

3. Talk to each other for five minutes everyday. It doesn’t even have to be incredibly deep talk. Talk about your day. Talk about what happened in the last 24 hours. Amazingly, even a little communication on a regular basis can go a long way.

4. Turn off the TV. Television can be an incredible detriment to your marriage if you let it. It will suck up all of your available time, steal your attention and energy, and dry up your conversation. If nothing else, get the tv out of the bedroom. Don’t allow your free time to be consumed by tv.

5. Get on a budget and stick with it. This is for the “spenders” in the family. Money problems are the number one cause of fights between couples. You want a happier marriage? Get out of debt and stick to a budget. It’s amazing how many issues this will clear up.

6. Get rid of the porn. Husbands, your casual addiction to pornography destroys the intimacy you could be having with your wife. Your wife will never measure up to the make-believe standards that pornography creates. Pornography isn’t harmless. Get rid of it.

7. More sex. Wives, I know that the way God created males and females are different, and I know that your sex drive will typically be dwarfed by your husband’s. That’s no excuse to be passive in your pursuit of romance. Initiate. Pursue. A healthy and regular sexual life is integral to a happy marriage.

8. Date each other. Have a date night twice a month, minimum. Once a week if you’re able. You two need to pursue each other romantically, outside of the bedroom. What did you do when you were dating? Don’t lose that.

9. Surround yourself with other strong couples. You need mentors. You need strong friends with healthy marriages. If the only people you interact with are couples with dysfunctional or broken marriages, that dysfunction will rub off on you. Hang around with people with the type of marriage you want to have.

10. Forgive, a lot. Your spouse will hurt you more than any other human being on the planet. That’s what you get for marrying a sinner. The only way to release the toxin of bitterness is to forgive, often. There are slights and hurts that your spouse may never apologize for. Forgive them anyway. That’s what Jesus did for you on the cross (Jesus juke!).

11. Toughen up. Throw out the idea of marriage you see in romantic comedies. That’s a myth. Marriage is tough, tough work. It’s not for the faint of heart. Marriage will challenge you more than almost anything else you’ll experience in life. Toughen up. Roll up your sleeves. Get in there and fight for your marriage.

Friday we’ll finish with 11 Reasons Why Marriage is Worth It.

QUESTION: What suggestions would you add to this list?