Sam Watts Funeral Message

Here is the funeral message I preached yesterday for my cousin Sam Watts:

We’re here today to mourn the passing of a father, a son, a brother, a friend. I remember Sam as that shy, awkward middle schooler coming to church and trying to find his place in the world. Since moving away I never really got to see the man, the father he had become. And let me go ahead and tell you that I can’t answer the one question we’re all asking today: Why? Why now? Why him? Why when he was getting his life back on track, had a good job, engaged to the mother of his children, making things right in the world?

When we’re confronted with the cold harsh reminder that life can be cruel and unfair, we question, we get angry, we grieve, and that’s natural. That’s okay. But here’s what I’d like to try and help us do today. We’ve already remembered the best parts of who Sam was, and I want to continue to do that. But I also want to try and help us process some of the deeper questions that come up when we’re confronted with such a harsh reality like death.

In talking with Amanda, she wanted to be able to make sure that people knew that he was so much more than just a ‘good guy’. He was kind and caring. He loved, cherished, and adored his children and Amanda with everything in him. They were his main priorities. He hated every minute away from them. Sam was always helping any and everyone. He would literally give the last dollar in his pocket, or the shirt off his back. Just last week Sam came home from work and was telling Amanda a man in a truck in front of him had a blowout on the interstate. He stopped and a child got out with the man. He asked if they needed help or a ride. And the man was telling him yes he lives in Millbrook of he wouldn’t mind giving him a ride home and he would take care of the truck later. Sam said no problem and took him there. Stories like that should warm your heart. You don’t see too many people doing good deeds like that in this world anymore. That gives you a glimpse into the character of man that Sam had grown into.

When it comes to Sam’s faith, Sam believed in God very much. He wanted to have a better relationship with God and his family. Sam and Amanda sat down just a few weeks ago and he was telling Amanda how much he prayed for her and for the kids and for their family to grow together. He was so excited when he got his old job back and things started looking up for them. Even though they went through many hardships together he was certain they had many more blessed and better days ahead. He told Amanda he missed Centrifuge (a youth camp he went to growing up) and that he wanted to become more involved with the church maybe even become a youth leader one day. He had some great memories at church as a youth.

Amanda also told me about their relationship. She said the days leading up to his proposal to her were some fond memories. Sam made sure to ask her brothers (in place of her father) for her hand in marriage. He also went to his father’s house with Ethan to show him the ring. Sam told Randy that he finally understood why he was always so hard on him as a child and that he now knew that he just wanted the best for him. Randy finally knew when he showed him the ring that Sam had accepted the responsibility to be a husband and to forever take care of and be there for his family. They hugged and cried. Randy said he would take those 2 minutes in his yard over any other day. That meant the world to see his son as a true man.

Sam loved Amanda and he loved his children. He made lots of mistakes in life, mistakes that he would freely admit to. But he learned from them, he was growing from them and he was on the path to making things right. He will be dearly missed.

When we’re confronted with the harsh realities of death, especially a death that seems so senseless, it’s natural to scream and shout that it isn’t fair. And we would be right. It isn’t fair. Ever since sin entered into the world in the Garden of Eden, sin has corrupted and infected every aspect of our existence. Life hasn’t been fair in a long, long time. Deaths like Sam’s are so incredibly tragic because we come face to face with the consequences of sin in the world: death.

Death reminds us that we’re not in control, as much as we sometimes delude ourselves into thinking that we are. Death reminds us that, as the book of James says, our life is like a mist that appears in the morning and then vanishes. Life is short, much shorter than any of us want it to be. Death is always unexpected. We never know when death will come for us, but it will always come unexpectedly and too soon.

Death reminds us of the deeper realities, that there is a God, and that the Bible teaches that we will be held accountable for our actions. Too many times we live for today, we live for the moment, we live for ourselves, with no thought of any consequences. Death is a harsh reminder that we will ultimately be held accountable for our actions here on earth.

But we can have hope. For Christians, one of the greatest comforts we receive is when we confront the reality of death. We believe that life doesn’t end at death. We believe that the soul, that inner portion of us that will never show up on an x-ray but that soul that makes us ‘us,’ lives forever. Everyone lives forever somewhere. If we believed that you simply ceased to exist at death and that we would never ever see Sam again, then we could despair. But we know that Sam is in a better place, Sam is in heaven.

Sam believed in Jesus and in Jesus’ death and resurrection and how that paved the way for those who believe to go to heaven. I saw the seeds of that faith personally when I was his youth pastor. Amanda can testify to how Sam’s faith grew and influenced him, especially in these last few years. Amanda will see Sam again. Ethan and Laila can see their daddy again. Because of the hope we have in Jesus, we don’t have to say goodbye to Sam. We can say, “see you later.” And in the meantime, while we’re waiting, we can take comfort in the fact that God is here, in our midst. God cares for us, he is present with us. He weeps with those who weep. He knows what it’s like to lose someone you love to death.

But here’s how I’d like to finish out. I think Sam would probably be embarrassed by all this attention he’s getting. He was never one that sought the spotlight. He wanted to do what he could to help others. So let’s honor that best part of him. Let’s see if some good can come out of this heartbreaking tragedy.

How do we do that? First, don’t squander this opportunity to wrestle the bigger issues in life. Most of the time we’re living for today, or if we’re thinking really far out, we’re living for the weekend. We’re distracted, caught up with work, caught up with ourselves, distracted by social media, distracted by our phones. As harsh as it sounds, if you’re not the immediate family, you’re going to grieve, then you’re going to have lunch, and by the end of the day you’ll be moving on. But right now, in this moment, you have perspective. You’re thinking about life, you’re thinking about death, you’re thinking about God. Are you where you need to be with God? Someone in this room is going to be the next one to pass away, and I guarantee you, that person will never expect that it’s them. Death comes on us like a thief in the night. Are you ready for it? Are you sure you’re going to heaven? Make no mistake, I don’t believe Sam is going to heaven because he was a good person. I don’t believe Sam is going to heaven because he had gone to church. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald’s makes you a Happy Meal. I believe Sam is in heaven right now because he trusted in Jesus, and that faith was evident in his life. Are you living for today, or are you living for eternity? Are you living for yourself, or are you living for God? By the end of today this window of opportunity will be closed, and you’ll be caught up once more in the distractions of life. If you haven’t trusted in Jesus as your Savior, do that today. Then you can be absolutely sure that you’ll see Sam again one day.

A second way to honor Sam is to get your life right. Sam didn’t have a squeaky clean past. He bore the scars of some bad decisions, from years of living for the moment and living for himself. And he paid the price for it. But Amanda can take incredible comfort that in the past few years Sam was in the process of getting his life right. He got his priorities straightened out. He got help. He got clean. He got his old job back. Maybe that’s where some of you are today. You’re living for the moment, you’re living for yourself. You’ve allowed distractions and addictions to run rampant in your life, and maybe you need to reach out to someone to get the help you need to get your life right. Sam did it. So can you.

A third way to honor Sam is to make things right. Once Sam started getting his own life right, he realized he needed to make things right with those around him. He patched things up with his dad. He made things right with Amanda and proposed to her. It takes a real man to admit your mistakes and ask for forgiveness. He did the hard work and made things right. Whether it’s family or friends, life is too short, life is too precious to go through life bitter and angry, cut off from those you love the most. If you want to honor Sam, make things right with those around you.

A fourth way and very practical way to honor Sam is to care for his family. Sam loved Amanda and Ethan and Laila with everything he had. If you loved Sam love those that he loved. In the weeks and months to come, as the reality of Sam’s loss truly sets in, Amanda is going to need your help, not just to help her cope with her own loss and grief, which is very real, but to help raise two very precious kids. She needs the men close to her to step up and become surrogate father figures, to help teach them a way to live that would honor the memory of their father. If you want to honor Sam, take care of his family.

And a last way to honor Sam is to live for something bigger than yourself. Sam found his greatest purpose when he began to live for something bigger than himself, when he began to put his family ahead of himself, when he began to serve others, when he began to give back. The true value of a life is determined by how much of it you give away. Find something bigger than yourself, your family, your church, others, those less fortunate, and discover the purpose and power that allowed Sam to leave a legacy that we can be proud of.

So we mourn today, but we mourn for Amanda and the kids. We shouldn’t mourn for Sam. Sam isn’t dead, he’s just not here. He is more alive then he’s ever been, more alive than any of us. For the first time, Sam is experiencing what true life really is.

John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son Jesus, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Sam is now experiencing what that eternal life is really like.

He’s in heaven, and if there’s a fishing hole up there I guarantee you he’s already found it. So to Sam we don’t say, ‘Goodbye’, we say ‘See you later, and save us a seat.’