Learning to Watch our Words

How much damage do we do to other people with our words? We leave a scorched earth with our careless words as they cause mountains of hurt. Unfortunately we think we can excuse ourselves because “we didn’t mean for it to come across that way.” That’s the problem though isn’t it? The hurtful, careless words that come out of our mouths say more about who we are than the words we speak with intentionality. This is why Jesus says “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak.” Since we will stand before the King and answer for every careless word, how do we cultivate speaking words that build up and encourage rather than destroy and tear down.

Pay Attention to Your Heart
Jesus said, “the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.” Since our words reflect what is in our hearts, we should cultivate hearts that produce healthy and helpful words. This begins with prayerful meditation on God’s word. Read a portion of the Bible everyday, giving attention to thinking about it and praying through it. Thank God for what you read in the passage. Understand who this passage teaches that you are in Christ. Ask God for the strength to live out what He calls you to in the passage. Do this everyday and over time it will produce a real change in your heart.

Repent Quickly
Often we say things we shouldn’t say and defend ourselves instead of repenting. Our pride often will not allow us to simply admit we were wrong. Instead, be quick to admit when you are wrong. Repent to the Lord, honestly confessing your sin before Him. Then go to the person you have offended and ask them to forgive you. I’m not talking about telling them you are sorry that they got their feelings hurt. No, honestly admit your failure to love them well and the wrongness of speaking carelessly. Then ask them these words, “will you forgive me?” Paul says in Romans 12 “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” You cannot control whether another person forgives you or not, but you can do your part to right the relationship.

Weigh Your Words
The last thing to do might be the most difficult. The Bible speaks frequently of being “slow to speak.” This imperative calls us to think about what we are going to say before it comes out of our mouths. This runs counter to everything was are accustomed to, but wisdom demands this. Imagine how our words could be used as a positive force to help people if we thought before we spoke. Think about the hurt you could avoid by simply weighing the words you speak before you speak them.

Related Posts:
“A Bible Verse that Changes All of our Relationships”

For Further Reading:
Resisting Gossip by Matthew Mitchell