Off-Kilter Witch: The Unbalanced Life and Gender Bias in the Craft

You know the sound when your washing machine is off balance? That horrendous ka-WHUMP! that sounds as if a dead elephant landed on your washer? It’s a distinct sound that signals the problem to you clearly and immediately so you can correct the imbalance. Wouldn’t it be great if we had the same sort of signal when our life, or our Craft is out of balance?

Despite classes during which I took copious notes on leading a balanced life, I’ve been out of whack for awhile. On my list of priorities sleep came last. I’d pretend kicking back in a recliner and watching the latest episode of “Glee” was a reasonable substitute for a good night’s sleep. Burning the candles at both ends and the middle, I inevitably crashed.

Did I get an immediate, loud clear warning something was off? Nope. Humans are resilient creatures and my warning came when I could go no farther. Intending to rest for half an hour I took a 12 hour nap. My body shut down and said, in a perfect Jean-Luc Picard voice, “Here, no farther!”

This world is far more hectic than it was in our ancestors time. We are less active, less personally productive and yet we have less time and more stress. Meditation, ritual baths, and, most importantly, sleep are not pampering but a corrective measure to the modern life. Don’t skimp on the important stuff.

One thing I’ve tried recently to measure the crazyness of my life is cooking a meal from scratch. I turn on music and enjoy the sensual pleasure of the smell, taste, sound, sight and feel of the dish I’m making. Sure, it takes longer than grabbing a cheeseburger from Wendy’s but the relaxation and nutrition it provides far outweighs time considerations. It replenishes my spirit.

As I recovered from my overwrought weeks of busyness more than just personal imbalance was on my mind. From bits of conversation, e-mails, tweets and blog posts over the weeks a thought had coalesced in my brain. It seemed to me there was a gender imbalance in the Craft and I pondered on this awhile.

In Wicca and in a good portion of the Pagan community there is more of an emphasis on the feminine, simply as a reaction to the patriarchal culture we are in, and many of us were raised in. Over the years this has balanced out to some degree, although some groups still have a strong gender preference, like the Dianics. This is a wonderful thing. People should be accepted for who they are and find a reflection of their reality in their faith.

If you are a feminine woman the Craft is full of lovely imagery and archetypes to celebrate your personality. If you are a feminine man, you are welcome with flower wreaths, robes and declaimed poetry. If you are a masculine woman, you are welcome as an Amazon, a Morrigan, a Valkyrie. If you are a masculine man, you make us all a bit uncomfortable. Tone it down a bit, will ya?

I’ve heard some people take issue with women assuming masculine roles in the Craft. Some find the idea that a woman can strap on a sword and act as a high priest ridiculous, and maybe it is. I think this reaction springs from a few different things.

First, the idea that one gender can replace another is disrespectful. While men cannot give birth no matter how hard they try, neither can a woman plant the seed of life in another’s womb. Each gender is territorial of their own traits, whether they be liberating or confining.

There’s also the fact that men’s roles in the Craft already tend to be rather feminine. The raw testosterone of sports, hunting, battle and workmanship is reduced to poetry and theatrics in the Craft. I read recently about a man who instituted a game of Red Rover at a Beltane festival because he was healthy, active, full of the vitality of Spring and wanted to test his mettle against others in friendly competition. He was criticized for bringing aggression and violence to a Pagan gathering.

Add to this the fact that women exhibiting masculine traits are often admired in Pagan circles, you can imagine it must be frustrating for masculine men to find their place in the Craft. It’s been noted that masculine men tend to be drawn to other Pagan religions, such as Asatru, because they tend to celebrate pure masculinity more than Wicca.

I don’t really have any answers to this dilemma, or even any deep insight. As a feminist woman I believe in equality across the board, but I’m not really equipped to speak about whether or not Wicca is somewhat emasculating for “manly men”. My observations tell me something is out of balance in how we approach and embrace gender identity in the Craft, and, as a woman, perhaps it’s easier for me to initiate this sort of discussion than it is for a man.

I know the male Gods I am devoted to are very masculine, and I don’t tend to see them in the mythos of the Craft. Then again, I don’t exactly see many gay Gods in Craft settings either, but that’s another blog post altogether…