Monday Morning Confessional

I confess that I’m so into the Hunger Games trilogy that during prayers of the people at church yesterday, I momentarily thought to pray for Katniss Everdeen. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever been tempted to pray for a fictional character. I confess this was disturbing. It’s the closest I’ve ever felt to blasphemy… I’m chalking it up to lack of sleep. I confess that I start book three today.

I confess that I’ve been too busy lately with work and writing to be able to read any theology, and it is really bothering me. I confess that this could be more about my inability to manage time effectively than some sort of unavoidable factor. I confess that deep down I’m afraid my lack of reading is due to the fact that I’m not smart enough to really study theology and that I avoid reading hard theology because it takes too much energy to read at the academic level. Thus, I confess that my recent spate of fiction reading might be a subconscious avoidance tactic… just a reminder that I have not engaged in the reading I really need to do because I’m afraid I can’t.

I confess that I gave up sleeping in for lent, which means I’ve been tired and grouchy since Ash Wednesday. I confess to wondering if this is spiritually fruitful.

I confess that the Oscars last night were the worst I’ve seen. I confess I haven’t seen The Artist and I’ve never even heard of Hugo – so it could just be me. Still, I confess they seemed so inane and pretentious – like the prep team for Katniss Everdeen’s public appearances and media events – that I kept looking around to try and find Cinna in the camera shot telling someone to twirl. I confess that I am now blurring the lines between reality and fiction on multiple fronts.

I confess that an Olathe Police officer often sits just off the curb outside my office window attempting to catch speeders in the school zone adjacent to our church property. I confess that I often wonder why I only see a police van (not car) while I’m in the neighborhood by my office/church (mostly poor/highly diverse), but see nothing but cars in my (mostly white, upper middle class) neighborhood. I confess that deep down I believe this has something to do with detaining people in droves, and that the officer isn’t trying to catch speeders so much as people with bench warrants and undocumented immigrants.

I confess that my inability to deal with my computer, and some other technical gear, has me feeling as though I’m teetering on the edge of the abyss of permanent technological obsolescence. I confess that I think I’m too young for this to happen, and yet feel it is inescapable at some point.