Monday Morning Confessional

I confess that I took another pass at triaging my Amazon gift card dilemma. I’m still gripping, but I feel like there’s some significant internal progress being made. I confess that my top five is finally down to seven so it might be getting close to time to order: 1) Bethge’s biography of Bonhoeffer 2) I Thou – Buber 3) After Virtue – McIntyre 4) The Talmud 5) Hauerwas’s book on Bonhoeffer 6) Bonhoeffer’s Works vol. 7 7) Bonhoeffer’s Works vol 8.

I confess that I have a superstitious belief that reading comprehension and engagement with the material goes down proportionally with the number of books you are reading in at one time. I know this is not true, but I chastise myself anyway. Not physically of course, but emotionally. I confess that I’m reading 5 books right now, so I must not be learning anything.

I confess that while at a wedding this weekend, I was reminded that I’m far too literal to have a good sense of humor – one that works well in polite conversation.

I confess that I’m adding one book to my top 5, which makes it actually a top 8: Wanderings: Chaim Potok’s History of the Jews

I confess that as more and more people continue to read Paperback Theology (we set a new record for page views again this month), and especially as more people from Redemption Church join in the conversation, I’m tempted to hold back in what I write about. I smooth myself out, publically, because I don’t want to alienate people I care about. I confess that I think this makes me less interesting.

I confess that I feel like I’m getting weirder as time goes by.

I confess that one of the books I’m currently not reading is called The Instructions by Adam Levin. I confess that the reason I’m not reading it is because I’m an achiever & I think once I start it I may never be able to finish & it would stall out all other reading (it’s over 1000 pages). The only other fiction book I’ve read that is over 1000 pages is The Count of Monte Cristo & there are sword fights in that one, so you know…

I confess that this is my worst MMC ever.

I confess that I thought of one more book that should go on the top 5 list, making it actually top 9: The Kingdom of God is Within You – Tolstoy. I confess that I thought of one more but that would make the top 5 a top 10 and that is simply ridiculous so I’ll just stick a pin in that for the time being.

I confess that I’m in the turn from parenting primarily through size and position to parenting primarily through relationship with my oldest son. I confess that this is perplexing and unnerving & I constantly feel like I’m failing at it. I confess that this new phase has taught me how little emotional energy it takes to “play” with a child, as opposed to actually learning to understand what they care/think about and engaging with them on their level about things that are important to them. I confess that this is teaching me how self-centered I am & it’s a pretty harsh look in the mirror.

I made my confession – now make yours!