As a 23-year-old at Dallas Theological Seminary my Professor John Hannah said to me and a few other members of a summer class, “If you want to be great for God, don’t quit, don’t fornicate, you will be the only one left, and you will be great.”
As stunning as it was to hear those words for the first time, they have rung in my ears now repeatedly for the last thirty-one years. Twenty-eight years of those thirty-one I have spent serving as a church planter, founding pastor, and now Senior Pastor of Vanguard Church in Colorado Springs, affiliate with the Southern Baptist Convention.
I grew up the son of a bi-vocational dairy farmer/pastor in Glasgow, Kentucky. I have been a pastor’s kid or pastor, all my life! It is all I know.
Since my childhood, I have watched scores of pastors’ self-destruct. I had no idea at twenty-three that what my professor said to me would be the guiding light and compass north for the past thirty-one years of my life.
I grew up Southern Baptist, but I was strangely “bapti-costal” all my life. What does that mean? I was happy and confused all the time. Just kidding, we believed in the Third person of the Trinity. We believed in the works of the Holy Spirit. He wasn’t just an “it,” He was a Person like the Father and Son. He was equal in the Holy Trinity. And yet, the Gospel and church planting were the front and center foci of our calling.
A couple of weeks before my mom was killed by a drunk driver, she prophesied over my life. At the time, I had no idea what she was saying, the blanks are slowly filling in now. Thanks Momma!
In 1996 my wife, Tosha and I, attended the Southern Baptist Convention in New Orleans. Dr. Bob Reccord of the new North American Mission Board said the SBC was committed to taking risks to reach the lost. God used his message to transform our hearts to remain committed to the mission of the SBC. We are to this day, truly proud to be Southern Baptist.
Over the last thirty-one years we have watched well known leaders in the evangelical movement literally crash and burn like a Jet talking off and soaring thirty thousand feet above sea level only to fall steeply and destructively to their utter shame and destruction of themselves and so many others around them.
In February of 2001 I had a prophetic experience at 1:23am in the morning, repeatedly. Eventually I told my wife, my elders, and then I wrote it down. Over time with my wife and elders blessing, I shared the prophetic vision with Pastor Ted Haggard, his wife Gayle, and eventually the New Life Church Elders in Colorado Springs. Ted confirmed it was true to me privately but then later denied it in front of them. I write about that experience in The Mystery of 23: God Speaks. In 2006, five years later, the world learned what we in that room in 2001 had known for the past five years. Never once was it mentioned or acknowledged publicly and still hasn’t been to this day. Matter a fact, Larry Stockstill, the Overseer for Ted then is still the current Overseer of New Life and Pastor Brady, today. The lack of transparency grieves me for them, still today.
In 2017 God spoke another prophetic vision to me. I continue to carry that one today and wait on the Lord to bring it fully to light. Paul tells us in Ephesians 6:11, “Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them.” One of the things the Lord said to me in 2017 is, “A network of pastors will fall.” And this has been the case since then, names even I am stunned to see on the list of the fallen. It grieves me deeply as a pastor to see those names and process the facts involved in the stories of self-destruction and years of deception.
It has been my prayer God would use The Mystery of 23: God Speaks book to give people the courage across our world to stand for the truth of Jesus and expose the dark deeds of pastors who refuse to deal with the truth they ignore in their own churches and especially among their own leaders.
The publishing of that book has cost me greatly over the last seven years. I don’t regret publishing it, but I do grieve what it has cost me to do so, especially in my own city, where I have pastored for the past twenty-eight years. I have been labeled a troublemaker and someone who doesn’t seek unity for the body of Christ. None of us like our layers of secrets exposed, but true redemption can’t occur without it.
The American church is sick because the pastoral leadership is sick. Pastors across our world have watched the “success” of the American church and prayed to Jesus to emulate it. A few years ago, I wrote another book called, “The Good Pastor” and focused on this statement from Dr. John Hannah. Greatness should be measured in faithfulness and commitment to purity, but instead it is simply boiled down to the size of the budget and the number in the congregation.
These “false” successes have led many pastors to harm themselves and those they lead. This pursuit of significance through external measure has destroyed the fabric of many good men and women’s desires to pursue faithfulness and purity.
How does it occur? First, we stop thinking about the things of heaven and start thinking about the things of earth. Instead of hiding our real lives in Christ, we hide them from those we lead and want to impress. Instead of revealing Christ to the whole world so we can share in his glory, He must reveal our shame to show our disobedience to Him. This grieves the heart of God but sometimes it is necessary.
We are told by Paul in Colossians, “To put to death the sinful, earthly things that lurk within us. But when we seek earthly things in the name of Jesus over heavenly things we destroy our sensitivity to the spirit and our true awareness of what truly matters to God.
When this occurs, a rapid destruction unfolds inside of us that finds its way out into the organizations, the churches pastors lead. Paul tells us in Colossians to have nothing to do with sexual immorality, but the pursuit of success lures us to let go of personal standards of purity. We ignore and look the other way, “for the sake of the good of the church and saving it from utter destruction and ruin or even termination due to inner corruption.” This avoidance of truth in purity in the organization eventually leads to personal impurity in the leadership.
Personal impurity in the leadership gives way to greed. We begin to justify our actions with the ends, “the church does well and thus the leadership financially does well in salaries, book deals, speaking opportunities, and so forth and so on.” Success gives resources that allow for, sadly, more cover up. The sacrificial giving into the community gives a smoke screen and deflects and silences ongoing criticism, but still the cancer of deception grows from within.
Eventually greed gives way to out bursts of anger, control, fear management, and inner disposal of anyone who isn’t committed to protecting the perceived public persona of the organization. Until finally fear management and anger to control others gives way to full blown deception, lies, and utter corruption. Self-preservation becomes the goal of the leadership and any means possible is used to accomplish this corrupted goal, sadly.
Jesus showed us how an innocent person lives, “Like a lamb led to the slaughter, he didn’t open His mouth.”
You look at the news, and you see, day in and day out, a network of pastors continuing to fall, and more recognizable names are still to come, sadly. When these names become public, don’t sneer, let it humble you, and remind you, leader, child of God, you are here for heavenly reasons, and the Enemy is here to kill, steal, and destroy that desire, first.
Remember Professor Hannah’s words to me twenty-three years ago, “Don’t quit. Don’t fornicate.” Ask the Lord to make His purity and faithfulness great in you and the “success” will take care of itself.
Now, Pastor, is the time to get rid of impurity, greed, anger, and deception before God must use the public eye to do so in you.
Paul says it best in Colossians 2:7, “Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him.”
Blessings,
Pastor Kelly
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