I might as well be Santa

My first answer to nearly everything my children ask me is always a full throat-ed and enthusiastic “NO!!!”.

“Can I have a snack?”
“No, no no you’ll spoil your dinner!”
“Can I go play in the mud?”
“NO NO NO It is not in my mind to bathe you tonight!”
“Can I have all the children in the church over to play this afternoon?”
“ARE YOU Kidding ME? NO!”
“Can I eat this bug?”
“No! Well, maybe if it doesn’t look poisonous.”
“Can I help you cook?”
“Oh baby, not right now. Mommy needs to be alone in the kitchen right now or she will loose her mind.”

Except today I turned into the fuzzy bunny Santa tooth fairy of money and candy.
“You vacuumed the office?! AWESOME! Here’s a dollar.”
“You guys want to build a fort? Here’s a whole mattress and a board to build a wall. Yeah sure, take all the tea cups and a bucket of water.”
And then this evening, “Sure, you can sleep in the fort.”

They’re not sleeping though. Its like a carnival in there. And it sounds like there’s six forts, or something. Probably Santa Mama will be up in the middle of the night when everyone freaks out and tries to get in her bed. Night Night!