Three is too much

I just went to Wegmans with the three little girls. Matt had to take Elpine out to lunch (she wore a super fancy new dress and shoes, a tiara in her hair, a tiny cross necklace and took a shiny black purse. She was ready to go two hours early. Apparently, said Matt, she’s very interested in boys. I don’t know what exactly about them, but there you go. Shoot.) and the boys were with one of their favorite people being spoiled (as I just found out) and so not to be outdone, I went to the store.

Three kids, as most of you know, is no big deal. Its like not having kids. I raced around the store rushing to be done before Matt and Elphine so I could pick them up on my way home.

TWO SEPARATE people said, “three kids, wow! Are they all yours?”
Both times I stood stunned, unable to speak from surprise.
Are you kidding me? There were like six other women in the store with three kids. What do you mean, “Are they all mine?” So here’s some of the things I should have said but didn’t.

No, but they were just so cute I took them out of someone else’s cart and I’m planning on taking them home.

No, I like to gather other people’s toddlers and babies and take them to the grocery store so I can pick up men. Oh wait, that doesn’t work for women does it.

Yes, they’re all mine and I have three more at home and I’m looking to give some away. You can have the toddler because she bites.

Of course, for the ultimate guide on what to say you should go visit Simcha.