7 Takes About Some Stuff

One

Elphine is down burning french toast. It smelled really glorious for about thirty seconds but that nice aroma has been replaced by something less amazing. She's finally convinced me to let her make breakfasts on Friday, in an official way, even though she's been doing it for quite some time in reality. I keep meaning to take more pictures of her. She's growing insanely and making us all so nervous with not looking like a child really at all any more. Can't believe she's going to be twelve in a month. Can't believe she's about to have feet bigger than mine. Can't believe how broad her shoulders are. Can't believe how much she loves to do puzzles.

Two

The bishops of the Anglican Church in North America are all together by themselves picking a new Archbishop. Have been pretty much a failure at remembering to pray for them. Hope God doesn't decide to judge us all because I forgot to pray. I did pray, a tiny bit, but then got distracted by other things. Really glad God doesn't actually strike the world because of my inability to pray, even though I always feel like that is the case. Wouldn't that be awful. Maybe you all could remember to pray today, while I run around forgetting.

Three

Started school back up for Romulus and Gladys. The two older ones get another week off before I start them again. Didn't mean to take such a long long long break, but always forget how endless the baseball season is. Fortunately, neither of them have forgetten how to read and the break in math seems to have done them some good. They're sharper and quicker on the uptake than when we stopped. Always battling down a huge abiding sense of failure with school, no matter how it is actually going. At the end of the day I always list to myself all the things I could have done and didn't, or all the things I did do but shouldn't have. My mind is rich fertile ground for Satan to attack and demoralize me. Then I help him by suggesting stuff he hadn't even thought of. Then I go weeping to Matt and he looks at me like I'm insane, which I guess I am.

Four

Marigold is four, as you all know, and four is the Age of Death. When Elphine was four we read her that horribe Why Do Mosquitos Buzz in People's Ears book causing her to wander around for months asking 'Why did the baby owl have to die?' over and over until we had had enough. Forgetting this, when Matt was picking strawberries last night and she came up and said, 'Can I have a strawberry?' he, like one who longs to suffer,

said, 'No, all the strawberries are for daddy.'

'Why are they all for daddy?' She asked.

'Because if daddy doesn't eat them all, he will die,' he explained.

'Why will daddy die?' she asked, horrified.

'Its a joke! Daddy is being funny!' I cried.

She gave me a Paddington stare. 'What is a joke?' she asked. And then, 'Why will daddy have to die?'

And so the long long day is wearing on.

Five

After she wandered up, Baby Elspeth (I still really feel that Ermentrude would be a better name) came up and just took one. Its better not to ask. It's always better just to grab and run away.

Seven

Mostly through Isaiah, as I carry along in the Bible. Hezekiah is such an interesting king. Always felt like it was sort of unfair for God to be mad at him for showing all his stuff to the Envoy from Babylon, although I can see why. It was such a stupid thing to do. But then when Hezekiah doesn't care because all the bad things will happen to his grandchildren and not him, I take back my feelings of sympathy. And also, God is so shockingly personal in Isaiah. Its so emotional and on the surface, like looking in the face of someone who is really really in love and having to look away. Like the way I can't watch our own wedding video because all the naked emotion on my face is so embarrassing. The great thing about being married for a bit is that you learn to hide that rawness behind sarcasm, busyness, score keeping and exhaustion. Its troubling to see it in God. Of course we all want to be loved, but really loved? Really deeply emotionally loved? The Anglophile in me wants to ask God to tone it down.

And on that note, I will no go yell at my children, so they can know just how much I love them. Have a great weekend!