7 “Grateful” Takes

One

About to leap in the shower and try to drain the contents of my muffled head into the abyss. This is the cold/infection/whatever that keeps on giving. Read James just now about calling the elders together to pray for healing, followed closely, like in the next verse, by the need to confess your sins, and thought to myself, “I don't want to do either of those things!”

Two

Neither do I want to count it all joy when I face trials of many kinds, and I'm pretty sure the whole entire world is with me on that, certainly all of us in the American church. I wonder if the reason we are so horrified and freaked out by the brutal persecutions going on around the world, and I guess I'm just speaking for myself here, is that we are absolutely not thankful for the smaller lesser trials that are daily allotted. This is one reason I'm a Chriatian. You can't make this up. There isn't a human religious system that says, when it gets really bad, make sure and say thank you. That has to come from a divine provident all knowing all seeing God who knows that brutal heart wrenching suffering is bound up somehow, in a way that we don't understand, in the plans and purposes of Goodness. This isn't anything I, or ther world, really wants to face. We want it to stop, whatever it is, we don't want to see God's justice, or his mercy, or his day of wrath, or the brutality of the cross, we just want it to go away.

Three

So, what are some bad things I can be thankful about?

Hmmmm……

Well, I felt physically foul this week but had two, so far, really good school days that somehow moved forward in spite of me so that I am completely unable to take credit, blast it all.

I've been able to see some points of neglect, where I need to say sorry, and stop sending the little girls away to “play” and sit down, even if I think it's going to kill me, and read them a story.

I've been inclined to pray for some people I had ever even heard of before, and to implore God for mercy on their behalf, and perhaps to carry the burden of sorrow and grief down the road with them, even though they don't know me either.

I've discovered again that I have a big wide mouth with a sharp, sometimes, fire breathing tongue, and have had yet another chance to feel sorry about that.

..l think that's plenty for now.

Four

How bout thankfulness for some good things, since I'm supposed to be thankful about everything.

My parents traveled safely in this age of airline insanity.

I had a really good first week of school.

Elphine has been helping me with Solemn Communion and, get this, she Remembers!!! it all from when she did it, even though at the time she was writhing around like all the other kids and completely out of order. Gives me a small hope that maybe other kids remember too and this isn't a pointless activity.

Matt is a place of rest and even when we are really stressed and busy and don't have time to talk the way we'd like, the few minutes here and there are enough.

Don't want to get carried away with gratitude….

Five

Did actually struggle, which, as Matt is always quick to point out, is the Christian word for failure, with envy looking at the pictures of children who are going away to school and wondering, yet again, if I'm doing absolutely the wrong thing by keeping all mine home. Maybe I'm being selfish, my soul says quietly, maybe it's the Wrong Thing.

But then I remember, staying home all day every day with six children and organizing their entire education is Not Selfish. It may be a lot of other things, but selfish is not one of them.

Six

Then also remembered that there's no law, one way or another, and it's ok, on occassion, to do something you like doing. What you like is not necessarily evil. Liking to homeschool some children may be unusual but isn't evil and perhaps there are people out there who wish they could homeschool and can't so maybe the envy goes both ways.

Seven

Phew. Glad to be out James! Back to Acts tomorrow and the easy stuff that Paul says. Cough.

Have a great weekend and go check out Jen who is brilliant and wonderful and has a radio show and everything!

Oh, and here's a picture of Solemn Communion because I have to have a picture or the interwebs can't cope.