7 Sick Takes

How the mighty, or rather, the moderately functional, have fallen.

I have a bad head cold. Really bad. Like, lying in bed not able to move bad.

I’m not sure how this happened since nobody else that I know is sick. The children are all annoyingly healthy. Matt is a picture of strength and virtue. The dogs are all running around as if life isn’t a veil of tears. I say dogs, plural, because of course two dogs is more than one, but four dogs is more than two. We have four dogs for the week. It’s like a glorified insane play date.

Anyway, let us not be distracted from the main point which is that I am sick. And, being in this depressed and awful state, I thought it would be most useful to try to think of seven good things about the week, or reality, or whatever. I don’t usually go in for this sort of froufrou happiness, but I can’t breathe and I’m desperate.

One
We did school! For realz. Can’t believe it. The kids didn’t turn out to be as dumb as I expected after a whole summer of whining for more Xbox time. Six out of six children read words and did math. I was fairly startled and lay back in my chair, getting sick and wondering how this could be so.
Two
We also ate food and had clean clothes because, get this, the laundry isn’t in the basement, it’s right off the dining room, a mere one second walk from the kitchen. It’s extraordinary. I would chop an onion, weeping copiously and painfully, because of getting sick, and walk calmly over and put in a load of laundry, and then walk back and cut another onion. I’ve never come to the end of first week of school with the house and laundry in tact before. It’s like there is a God.
Three
The week’s menus included chicken and dumplings. And because of being sick, I still lost 11 ounces. #somuchwinning
Four
For about a year and a half I’ve been thinking and praying about starting a little atrium time for any interested souls of the hoard of children who hang around Shepherd’s Bowl, Good Shepherd’s soup kitchen/community meal. Matt has always had an adult study after the meal, for anyone who feels like talking about God, or trying to read the bible. And I’ve always gazed out over the expanse of children and felt like it was stupid that there they were and we had nothing for them. But also, who knows if they would even be interested. Mostly, human nature being what it is, people like to nod and squint their eyes when you talk to them about Jesus, and that goes for children too. Nevertheless, I’ve been wanting to open up the richness of Catechesis of the Good Shepherd not just to the churched child whose parents lug them along, but to the children who are sent every week to our church without any adult supervision and who run around crazy and are so friendly. So, in the most low key way possible, last week I opened one of my rooms and invited about six children to come in and learn how to pour beans. For an hour they poured beans, and decorated folders, and were loud and running around. Thought, believed even, with my mighty audacious faith power that they would not come back. But last night there they were, clambering to pour beans. So we also rolled matts, and everyone was still for one single solid minute. Long enough for me to read Psalm 23:1 and to pray for each child by name. If they come back next week I’m going to teach them how to walk in the room, and how to open and close the door. It’s pretty crazy to have six whole children who don’t know anything, not even Jesus Loves Me, want to come in try to hear. It’s like there is a God.
Five
Of course there’s a God, sorry God. I’m always happy when my low expectations and unbelief are shown to be completely inconsequential. Whether I show up and fail, or show up and succeed, God is God and is not dependent on me having it together. Thank heaven for that.
Six
This has been my constant reminder to myself as I’ve tried to face the news all week. I’ve tried, and failed. I don’t know how to think about this latest round of shootings and now riotings. I am worn down, and grieved, and can’t even think how to pray. But God is God, and he sees everything. No small action, no intention of any human heart escapes his notice. Not a single drop of blood spills to the ground without his knowing about it.
Seven
Did I mention that I am sick? Maybe next week I’ll be able to think and write about something of consequence. But for now I am taking a large pill and going back to sleep. Go check out more and better takes!