Seven Takes To A Perfect Holiday

Seven Takes To A Perfect Holiday July 31, 2020

Every morning I wake up and think, Oh! It’s the last day of July! But then it never is. Probably I will wake up tomorrow and find it’s still July, just like it is really still March. Anyway, if it isn’t July, and is actually August, here’s what I’m going to do:

One–Try, for the first time in forever…

to take a hard break from all social media (except Instagram). I’ve never done this before. I think it is a weak and pathetic thing to do (for me—other people who do it are sane, me doing it is some kind of horrible capitulation to the gods of something or other). I expect I’ll have several days of bad withdrawal, like when I can’t drink caffeine in the morning. And then, who knows? Maybe I will become very holy. I’m doing this for two reasons—my sanity, and so I can read books.

Two–Read a lot of the books.

The pile next to my bed is going to kill me if I don’t make a dent in it. Also, my kindle is full. So for real, I’m gonna spend August doing what I should have always been doing—reading the books. If I don’t read them I’ll punish myself by doing this:


Three–Clean the kids’ rooms.

This is going to be awful, because, well, it just will be. Here is a visual representation of what that will be like:

Just kidding. It won’t be that fun.

Four–Write a few blog posts…

and put them up randomly and with no warning. I have a couple of book reviews jangling around in the back of my mind that I didn’t want to rush over in the pile-up of other more pressing writing projects. I’m going to take the time to finish them up nicely and post them, and maybe get Matt to go in and link them around twitter and fb for me. It’ll be just like this:

Five–Go Camping.

I love camping. It feels super homey and I succumb to warm weepy feelings of nostalgia. The thing about camping, for me, is that it means packing up all the dishes and pots and pans and living in the wilderness as if you are at home. I bet I’m tapping into some sort of Jewish traditions here, accidentally. You ask, “Can God set a table in the wilderness?” And then you see that he can because he provided you with a car to carry your candlesticks, dishes, cutlery, and tablecloth. Also, meat roasted over a fire is so fantastic. Also, the kids like it. So it’s a win all around. This is the music and voice over with which I will spur on my whining children:

Six–Finish watching every Carol Burnett clip on Youtube.

I feel like at some point I might become weary of Carol Burnett clips on youtube, but whenever I stop to consider and wonder about the alternatives, I think, No, every time is a good time to watch Carol Burnett.

Seven–Teach our water obsessed cat to swim?

What could possibly go wrong? It’ll be so great.

Well, that’s all. Here is an unlocked article about Jen Hatmaker I wrote last year. Here is the Stand Firm Podcast. And here are lots more takes. See you in September!

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