Nothing to Blog About

Latest Picture By Clever Child, Used By Permission

That’s actually not true. There’s a ton of stuff to blog about, but I don’t feel like writing about any of it mostly because–and this is really terrible–I actually bought a ring light off the interwebs and would rather sit around trying to figure out how to use it than thinking about any of the stuff that is swirling around in the world. I thought, for example, that instead of writing anything, thereby freeing up important ring light experimentation time, I could just repost something I wrote about this person last year, but it wasn’t that great. And people got mad at me in the comments.

And then I thought I could do a post about Inauguration Days I Have Endured wherein I would recount in gory detail how the last time around I was in the ER feeling absolutely wretched, and then that the time before that we had just lost our lawsuit and had no television and so I was calling all the people I knew to find somewhere for the children to watch “this historic moment” which I finally did, but they were too young and didn’t get it and I was too stressed and didn’t have the wherewithal to explain anything, I just left them at someone else’s house to watch it and went home and wandered around the maze of boxes and then went back and got them and they never understood for years afterwards why I did that.

And then I thought I could post answering that very good question: What Do I Do With My Children During Date Night If I Have To Do It Every Week? My answer: buy them a frozen pizza and put them in front of your iPad and tell them they cannot come and talk to you unless it’s an emergency. This is predicated on there being some moments of every day that they aren’t allowed to talk or interrupt their parents. Matt and I talking to each other is the “privileged” conversation in our house and they have to fit themselves in as they can. Actually, my oldest child pointed out to me that this ideal has been falling into disuse and that the younger children have been allowed to interrupt and change the subject when Matt and I are talking to each other. She begged to be empowered to take up their education in this matter, which I was delighted to do, and so now, in the evenings, when Matt and I are debriefing the day, we have a whole audience of girls longing for “news,” being shushed by Elphine (not her real name) every few minutes, with threats that they will be sent away if they don’t keep quiet. The young men of our household are never around for this. They come in at the tail end and then want the shorter version which I am not remotely interested in rehashing. Shouting ensues which means that I go immediately to bed because of my noise allergy.

And then I thought maybe I could blog about the Sprite Pie or this ridiculous thing or the ACNA Bishop’s statement, but then I thought nah, I’m just gonna go eat some bread lathered in butter and read An Unsuitable Attachment for a couple of hours because why not. Have a nice day!