One

The app by which I daily blog has developed some evil something such that I cannot even open it. Every day this week I’ve been hunched over an even tinier internet space, trying to see with my dim failing eyes to type out a few measly words. Today is no exception. I’ve figured out how to add in the regular amount of grainy pictures, but any lofty or interesting thoughts I might have had are destroyed by the idiocy of my device. Every day, as I’ve tried to type I mutter angrily, “I have followed too much the devises and desires of my own heart and have offended against thy holy laws”. There must be something essentially true about calling this wretched apparatus a device and so also the schemes and evil of my own heart. Anyway, I carry on, but I complain nevertheless.

Two

Gladys had a pretty happy birthday. She woke up cloudy but pulled her heart and her expectationa together and had a happy time. She had requested meat pie for supper and then pumpkin pie. And presents. Lots of presents.

 Three

One of my downfalls is meat pie. If you’re trying to stay away from fat or carbs, I know, a ridiculous idea, don’t make a big meat pie full of vegetables from the garden and a mixture of ground beef, pork and meatloaf mix. Don’t make a flakey golden butter filled crust that soaks up gravy and has a light delicate tang. Don’t drink a glass of wine while you’re serving it up so that you forget your plans to be thin and fit and start “helping the children” who are trying to pick out the carrots or mushrooms or meat or even, because children are preeminent fools, the crust.

Four

Speaking of health and wellness, got to go to choir last night. I’ve had a long mediocre choir career. I’ve gotten to be in choirs, at church and at school, but only standing next to louder more competent people, and never if it meant singing so anyone could rearly hear. Remember the acute pang of discovering that the choir teacher at boarding school had formed a second elite smaller choir by invitation only and that I had not even occurred to her. Want to sing. Want to play music. But, you know, mediocrity and a weak voice have been God’s gift to me. So I’ve tried to live out my frustrations in the church, occassionaly inserting myself into the choir and the music in general, and singing Jesus Loves Me with little kids, which is not quite the same thing. Anyway, sitting around with the choir last night, laughing and singing and having too many opinions was healthy and healing. I hope when I get to heaven I’ll get to sing as beautifully as my favorite people, My Grandmother, for instance, and my new friend Pentimento, and my Own Mother, and our Music People who you can either hear the first Thursday of the month at McGirk’s, OR every Sunday at Good Shepherd.

Five

Every day our tree is more glorious. Started a new Barbara Pym called Quartet in Autumn. Felt smug, sitting in the shadow of this tree, reading a book with an orange cover, about four people in the twilight of their lives, and death in general.

Six

Speaking of death, have got to the Passion in Matthew and Joseph’s Unveiling of himself to his brothers. Had a sort of small revelation. Always thought Joseph was unwise to tell his bothers his dreams. Sure, in fact, that I’ve heard sermons about how Joseph was arrogant to tell his dreams and report the bad behavior of his brothers. The implication is that Joseph had it coming, he deserved it, because, for heaven’s sake, consider the substance of the dreams. Except that, upon careful consideration, they were true. The dreams themselves were the word of God. This occurred to me as Caiaphas was tearing his robe and declaring blasphemy. Jesus himself is true. His claim to be God is not arrogant because it is true. Joseph’s revelation of his dreams was the Word of God. The throwing of him into the pit was a rejection not of him but of the word itself, which is always the root of rejecting God, it begins with rejecting what he has said. Saying that “he had it coming” is the same as saying that the Bible cannot be trusted or Jesus isn’t God or any of the other undermining revisionist heresies we are so often beating back.

Seven

It’s been another long rough week. So rough I took a couple of days off school and might take today as well. Stopping to be thankful for all God is doing in our lives and in the world. Praying that he will glorify himself and show forth his glory, even as the trees go out in a blaze of red and gold and Fire.