In spite of me owning awesome new long underwear, the dog will not go outside for more than 37 seconds, which means I haven’t worn it outside for more than five minutes. In fact, he won’t even join us for school in the sunroom unless he can be held by someone. Likewise the cat, who normally arranges herself all over the school books, stalked up to me as I sat shouting at Elphine that ‘took’ is NOT spelled t o... Read more
So we’re in Epiphany now. The tree was undecorated and hauled out last night amidst squabbling and crying and general mayhem. Matt roasted a piece of lamb and we distributed the last of the Christmas cookies. I had set the table in the usual way as if it was no big deal but Matt was so crestfallen that I put everything away and started again with a cloth and a nativity in the middle of the table. And some Christmas... Read more
Winter Storm Hurcules is bearing down upon us. Well, it’s actually already here. Matt is out shoveling, bless him, and I am still in bed. The little girls are raging and shouting in their usual way. Ermintrude is snotting everywhere. I feel, in my soul, that I will soon be joining her–something about the terrible painful feeling in the back of my throat and the wooly fog in my mind and the sense of immanent death. It really feels to... Read more
Lord, I pray that you will focus our minds and hearts on the great gift you have given us in your Son Jesus. I pray you will help us to receive this gift and carry it out into the world. Amen. John 1:1 In the beginning John the evangelist means for you to hear in the very first line of his gospel the first line of Genesis. In the beginning, God. We are not next to the manger, there are... Read more
Every year I resolve to do more ahead of time and not freak out in these Last Days before Christmas. It’s like the sun coming up. I make the resolution with monotonous regularity and then every year chuck it out in a wail of hysterical panic involving tears and recriminations against God, myself, Matt and reality. And then the next day I discover it’s not so bad, carry on in a more measured way and then commit the same freak... Read more
Now that Marigold is four she is doing and saying so many things that four year old children do–like obsessing over death and using language to express herself. So now in Sunday School (Catechesis of the Good Shepherd) instead of wandering around breaking things and rolling on the floor and whining and making me wish she was still in the nursery, she is breathless and engaged and often flapping her arms with excitement. All the lessons are hitting her little... Read more
one Romulus, just now as he was being hurried along by his father to men’s bible study, justifying his choice of shoes… Matt: You shouldn’t wear cleats over to the church. It’s not good for the cleats or the floor. Romulus: Well, it’s the only way I can really hurt anyone even though I’m not going to. Matt: You shouldn’t wear them to church. Romulus: Well, I was planning just to wear them just this time. two My mother took... Read more
I’ve been all wrapped up in the apocalypse lately what with being in the last days of reading the bible this time. Job, Isaiah, Revelation. All at the same time. It doesn’t help that I’m usually very tired, trying to wake up, sometimes falling back asleep and dreaming something profound and strange, pulled back awake somehow, wondering what I just missed, trying to read it again. The words wind themselves together in catastrophe and woe–we’re all going to die!!–with occasional... Read more
As I lie here, nursing a foul headache and a throbbing thumb, I can hear Elphine squishing the packages in her shoes by the front door. She has been up since 4:30, blast her. Indeed, she nearly caught me fussing over the shoes. I heard someone rumbling round upstairs (her) and shoved my bag of candy into a bookshelf and went back to bed and a minute and a half later I heard her crinkling the paper. I thought she... Read more
Preventing Grace
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