Republicans Have a Magical Mirror on the Wall

Republicans Have a Magical Mirror on the Wall November 7, 2023

Republicans Have a Magical Mirror on the Wall

In the land of the Kingdom of Republicans, there are some representative of the government who own a magical mirror. They look in their magical mirror and see themselves acting in selfish, irrational, outlandish ways. Instead of seeing themselves, they see others acting out. It’s not a miracle; it’s a trick, a magical trick of illusion.

Then they hold a press conference to insist that others are guilty of all that immature behavior.

I realize this is a harsh charge, but there’s clear evidence that the magical mirror exists.

Senator Tommy Tuberville

Senator Tommy “I’m a Football Coach” Tuberville says his fellow Republican senators are destroying the US Senate by insisting “It’s my way or the Highway.” Senator Tuberville may have operated his Auburn football program with “My way or the highway,” but this is the United States military needing critical leadership in place as they face growing challenges around the world.

“It’s typical of this place. This administration would rather burn the Senate down and that’s what would happen. … If you change the rules of the Senate then it lasts forever,” Tuberville told CNN reporter Manu Raju. “So they would rather burn down the Senate than negotiate.”

Senator Tuberville seems to be under the illusion that “his way is the highway.”

Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene says she’s fed up with Republicans showboating and being on tv instead of governing. Greene also accused her party’s elected representatives of being more focused on media appearances than the government work they should be doing.

“Republicans go out on the campaign trail and go on TV and do their five-minute hearing videos, and posts up on social media, and say all this garbage about how they’re going to fight it and stop it,” Greene said.

“I feel like many of the American people that think that Republicans in Congress completely fail them — I feel the same way,” she added. “And I’m a Republican member of Congress.”

Yes, she really said that with a straight face. The showboat queen of Congress, the Red Queen of the House never met a television camera she could resist, a conspiracy theory she wouldn’t endorse, has accused her fellow Republicans of showboating. I wonder if she knows how many Republican members of the House of Representatives have never been on national television?  “Mirror on the wall who is the biggest showboat of all?”

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson

House Speaker Mike Johnson says he is loving and peaceful toward everyone and can’t remember what he has said about gays and abortion. Johnson, a Bible-believing Southern Baptist claims he genuinely loves all people “regardless of their lifestyle choices” and that he respects the rule of law.

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson has a history of harsh anti-gay language from his time as an attorney for a socially conservative legal group in the mid-2000s. He has criticized homosexuality as an “inherently unnatural” and “dangerous lifestyle.” He has made the false cause argument that legalizing gay marriage would lead to pedophilia and destroy democracy.

When asked about his statements about gays, Johnson defers that he doesn’t even remember most of the statements. He argues that he was simply a lawyer attempting to make a case in court for his anti-gay clients. It seems he was against gay marriage before he decided that this is was now the law of the land, he is no longer responsible for his previous stance and has spatial global amnesia about his anti-gay rhetoric.

Johnson confuses “lifestyle” choices with human being created in the image of God who happen not to be heterosexuals. This is in line with his confusion his “viewpoint” or “mindset” with a “biblical worldview.” But he looks in the mirror and sees a kind, loving, law-abiding Christian.

X-president Donald Trump

The Republican who looks in the mirror the most often is X-President Donald Trump. He has called everyone who disagrees with him “liars.” “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the lyingest politician of them all?” And the mirror answers, “Everyone but you Master Trump.” Mirror, tell me who is the smartest man in the world? You, Master Trump. Who has perfect hair? Who knows more about everything than anybody? Who is the winner of all winners? And Trump lies so much he can’t keep up with what he claims is true. And I thought he was checking on his perfect hair.


One day all the magical mirrors will crack and break into a million pieces. Our elected officials will awaken to the reality that they are servants of the people. They were elected to cooperate, compromise, and enable the common good of the nation.

And if the magical mirrors fail to break, a Magical Mirror Police Force has to be formed. The Magical Mirror Police will confiscate all the magical mirrors and eliminate illusion, deception, and lies from the kingdom.


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