Earlier this summer, I was summoned to jury duty for the first time in my life. As an avid viewer of legal dramas and Judge Judy, my excitement nearly got the best of me. Unfortunately, I had to send my regrets due to an impending out-of-town business-related trip. Much to my surprise, however, I received another golden opportunity last month, which I attended this past Monday.
With only three court visitations in my life, one of which was a high school field trip, I looked forward to the opportunity to see how the system works. After researching the process, I packed up my laptop, a copy of Green Lantern: First Flight (pretty good film to pass the time with) and my iPod and hit the courthouse Monday morning.
For the first hour or so, more than a hundred of us were wrangled into a large waiting area downstairs. I was excited to find the last table seat by an outlet available…until I found out why it was open. The woman sitting beside me was coughing her head off. Deciding between a dead laptop battery and the potential Swine Flu carrier was difficult. I chose germs and so far I’m still feeling okay.
After a while, we were summoned to a courtroom where a judge filled up the jury box and asked questions of the potential jurors. Name, occupation, spouse, spouse occupation, children, children’s occupations, dog, dog’s occupation. Also, have you ever been in a courtroom before? If so, why? Who won? Do you know anyone in the legal process, besides Matlock? Will that impede your ability to be fair to the defendant? Do you know the defendant? Do you know me? What’s my name? How did I get here?
Some of the jurors were asked some pretty tough questions, some that were personal opinions based on their experiences (lawsuits, injuries, etc). But I think I had the toughest question of them all. I braced myself when asked this: “Mr. Hamby, could you describe for this court the typical plot of an episode of The Dukes of Hazzard?”
In all my years of waiting, my first opinion pronounced in a court of law, with prosecutor, defense attorney, defendant and judge all staring at me, I responded, “Bo and Luke Duke were cousins, good guys, who drove a car around. Somehow, Boss Hog and Roscoe would do something bad, change speeding signs or steal money that was intended for a local church and the Duke boys would save the day.” Time for cross-examination. The defense attorney followed with, “And what did they do in every episode, Mr. Hamby?” “Well, they would always jump a huge ravine in the General Lee at least once, sometimes more, in each episode. I think it was required, part of the contract.”
Although the jury selection process wasn’t as grim as an actual trial, this little moment provoked some of the best laughter of the day. I even saw the defendant out of the corner of my eye kick his head back laughing. Perhaps he was daydreaming about Daisy bringing him a cake with a nail file in it. Out of all the questions, I’m glad the Pop Culture expert got the question I did, even though it didn’t get me selected. Perhaps next time I’ll be a little more serious.
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