Armed with this new information, I was determined to confront James Crossley at SBL in Boston. I finally tracked him down at the Sheffield reception. After I secretly poisoned his champagne and he was unaffected, he had to admit the truth. Yes, he is indeed descended from two of those resurrected saints of lore. Yes, he is immortal, and one day hopes to visit the Scottish highlands himself. But no, he emphasized, is not NT Wrong. He pointed out to me that he has no motive. He already has a blog, on which he says things which are neither less humorous nor less insightful than those of Wrong. I had to admit that he was, in all likelihood, telling the truth.
This was a setback, but at least I now had another clue. Someone who knows about the secret of the resurrected saints of Barnsley, South Yorkshire is NT Wrong. That limits the number of candidates significantly. For this fact is a secret guarded by an ancient secret society, known in antiquity and throughout the ages by different names. You may know them as the Illuminati, I Cogniscenti, Les Minimiserables, or Monty Python’s Flying Circus. Today this secret society is known as…Having already investigated their janitor, I determined that it was now time to research the upper eschelons of the movement. I must learn more about the so-called “Council of the Five“, so many of whom are based at or connected with Sheffield, and who have easy access to Barnsley and can keep a careful eye on its closely-guarded secrets.
(Finally, I should apologize to anyone who drank any of the glasses I poisoned at the Sheffield reception before finally figuring out which was James’ glass. I wish you a speedy recovery, or barring that, an honorable burial).
Meanwhile, Chris Tilling has provided a poem to go with our quest.
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In