Recipe for Biblical Literalism

Recipe for Biblical Literalism December 12, 2008

Take one part overly-familiar Bible verses. Repeat these verses over and over again until a thick, opaque layer is formed. Use this layer to cover the remaining 39 parts consisting of Bible verses that do not talk about the same subject as those more familiar verses, verses which seem to disagree with them, as well as verses you don’t understand, verses you understand but do not put into practice, and any other verses you could happily live without. Bake until the lower verses are obscured from view.

Avoid stirring and serve.

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  • those memory verses, taken so deliberately out of context, take on the character of chinese fortune cookie fortunes. one is tempted, when responding to someone who ‘proofs’ with these cherished fortunes, to add ‘on the crapper’ or ‘in the bedroom.’verses out of context, and fortune cookie enhancements, are far, far removed from any original intent of these faith community/faith document texts.

  • James P.

    To be even, we might add “Recipe for Liberalism” Take 1 John 4, memorize, relativize any inconvenient passages by assuring us it was “only cultural,” use as means of legitimizing post-60’s liberal morality. Bake until unitarianism appears. Avoid strong traditional scholars and serve.

  • or, come up with awesome biblical comeback which sticks it to the man and impress your friends at the R.C. Sproul strong doctrine bible study. By the time your “recipe” is ready 18 more children have died of hunger.

  • that came off a lot meaner than i like to sound. 🙁

  • James P.

    Hey, lots of Traditionalists care deeply for the poor. Traditionalist need not = Right wing Republican. I am a good ole’ Minnesota liberal.

  • James P.

    Strange thing indeed, coming from someone who’s blogger profile cites New Testament and the People of God as a favorite book. N.T. Wright is so concerned with the poor and “liberal” politics that it pisses off many of his supporters.

  • James, I’m apparently missing what you are implying with the N.T. Wright comment. but honestly, I said my first comment as a joke, much like your response to James. I definitely don’t want to argue with you. I’m aware there are many traditionalists that care for the poor, as well. I was simply taking the joke to the next level and meant the implication for both, despite the Sproul comment.

  • James P.

    oi Levi, I too was kidding. Sorry if I came off like an ass.

  • it’s all good. I, as well, apologize if i came across in the same manner.

  • Someone named Tanya keeps trying to post about her weight-loss site. If she returns, I have no objection to her mentioning it, as long as she also says something relevant to this discussion! 🙂

  • i do need to rid my holiday pounds

  • India Henson

    Oh, now I know why I didn’t like that recipe. I thought it read “avoid stirring and shove”.

  • I needed a good laugh this morning. Loved your comment, India. 😀