“He sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, ‘Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all.’” Mark 9:35 Four years ago, a dear friend and professor died on the lawn of my seminary while playing frisbee with students. Jannie was a tall man from South Africa and was nothing like our other professors. I admit to hating him at first because he assigned reading BEFORE class started and he even sent... Read more
“Bruised. Derided. Cursed. Defiled. She beheld her tender child…” Many Catholics I know are wondering, “How do we come back from this level of corruption and evil?” Of course I am referencing the levels from Pennsylvania about all the sexual abuse and misconduct. I am wondering it. I have voiced it. Don’t each of the words used to describe Jesus in this sequence seem to also apply to our Church right now? Bruised– The victims and families and all members... Read more
At this writing, the grotesque moral stench of the Pennsylvania Grand Jury Report lingers in the nostrils, like a dead carcass. This only adds to pain inflicted by Cardinal McCarrick, the “Spotlight” scandals of 2002, along with Ireland, Chile, and more. In Canada, from where I write, the Indian Residential Schools unveil the same systematic abuses in the Truth and Reconciliation Report. I am not sure what makes this feel so different this time. I was raised in a... Read more
Bishops, Fight Your Own War (Or Better Yet, Remember Who You Are) Before August 14, 2018, I used to wake up and immediately experience a sense of gratitude. Even when I was exhausted, or knew we might be late for school or work, I would awake sensing the presence of Love, and of purpose. In the midst of waking up to news of worsening climate change, or violence against my neighbors, I would experience fear, and much sadness, but... Read more
Every autumn, I’m left scratching my head as friends and family begin to fill out their brackets for their fantasy football teams. Football is boring enough on its face, but fantasy football somehow involves math as well. Football + math is a recipe for no-thank-you. Fantasy football has always puzzled me – but now I get it! And, in fact, I see a promising replacement on the horizon: Fantasy Churchball. It will be great! Participants can choose their favorite clerics.... Read more
My friend says I can still talk to you, even if I don’t believe anymore. And after this week, I really don’t think I can believe anymore. But, like the prisoner-priest speaking to Edmond, she said it’s okay. Because you believe in me. And she believes in you. And well, I believe her. So I guess it’ll come out in the wash. You know, I’ve been warning you this was coming—the disintegration of my faith. I told you I’m drifting.... Read more
The past week has been eye opening. Not only is the world more aware than ever of the scope and severity of child abuse and its attending coverups – but we have seen some truly dreadful reactions from Catholic bishops, clergy, and commentators. Here are some of the worst. 1. The scandal is the fault of the media and of government officials who are prejudiced against Catholicism. Let’s not forget that we only know about these abuse cases because... Read more
Editor’s note: I wanted this series, I Want To Believe, to highlight the authenticity of my fellow Catholics. The news about the scandals has left me disheartened. At this point, honestly, I DON’T really want to believe. I asked my friend Father Stephanos Pedrano, a Catholic priest and monk, to write a post for us in light of the recent scandals. I want to thank him for this. For everyone who still feels betrayed and disillusioned by the Church, I’m... Read more
I found myself inside an Episcopal church one Sunday morning last fall, partly an act of defiance, mostly an act of discernment. The particular church we were visiting stands just across the street from a major Catholic parish in town. It felt as though I were going inside the wrong building, and some kind of internal GPS screamed at me to reroute and cross the street. I had never had particularly good experiences at the Catholic church across the... Read more
Over the past few weeks, we at Sick Pilgrim have watched with unease as the Church has responded to the allegations of scandalous and predatory behavior on the part of Cardinal Theodore McCarrick. We have seen bishops offer bland platitudes and assurances that they will improve “procedures.” We have seen bishops blame contraception, or deflect blame by talking about Church abuse scandals in other countries. We have seen the bishops talk about their anger, and their shame, and their betrayal... Read more
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