Lies, Damned Lies, and Quotations

Please tell me I’m right about the Polonius thing.  College was a long time ago.

The thing that bothers me about the last ten days is that I bet you can’t tell which I wrote when I was heavily medicated and which I wrote when I wasn’t, can you?  My back hurts and my leg hurts and tingles and sometimes goes away entirely, and then it comes back, and I think about just kind of finding a hacksaw and getting rid of it.  I’m having an x-ray tomorrow.  Oh!  I should swallow something weird and freak out the x-ray tech!  What should I eat?  I think a Godzilla figurine would be too spikey, but that would be funny.  What else?  (NOW LOOK, this is a nice Catholic blog, so when a nice Catholic lady says, “What should I swallow?” YOU BEHAVE YOURSELF, you male readers.  You know who you are.  I should hope.)

p.s. If the doctor says I just need more exercise, I am going to kill myself.