Prophets: From Sacred Scrolls to Stocks and Shares

Prophets: From Sacred Scrolls to Stocks and Shares June 30, 2023

Image: Public Domain

The Bronze Age Prophets: Proverbs over Profit

In the Bronze Age, being a prophet was an arduous spiritual journey, more centered on delivering profound proverbs than amassing profit. Biblical prophets found their humble abodes in the wilderness rather than sand-colored cubicles of the corporate world. With sheepskin for clothing and a minimalist diet that consisted of locusts and wild honey, they were indeed far from the glitz and glamour we associate with their modern counterparts.

Modern Prophets: From Asceticism to Luxury

Flash forward a few millennia, and prophets have traded their ascetic lifestyles for the echelons of luxury. The corner office has replaced the wilderness, Armani has ousted the sheepskin, and spartan diets have given way to gourmet meals crafted by personal chefs.

From Divine Appointments to Sign-Up Buttons

To fully appreciate this transformation, consider the job description. Back in the day, if prophets had LinkedIn, their profiles might have read, “God-appointed Spokesperson, specializing in doom, redemption, and occasional miracles.” The recruitment process? Anything but conventional, with divine visions and burning bushes taking the place of cover letters and interviews.

The Paradigm Shift in Spiritual Teachings

Now, prophethood seems to be as accessible as a ‘Sign Up’ button, often claimed after a compelling dream or a sudden epiphany during Sunday brunch. The spiritual teachings have undergone a paradigm shift from biblical commandments like “Thou shalt not covet” to more commercial exhortations like “Thou really should check out my latest divinely-inspired message from the Lord – only $99.99!”

Prophethood Commerce: Doom Prophecies to Conspiracy Theories

The biblical prophets bore the burden of delivering uncompromising messages about sins and their consequences, often facing ridicule and persecution. In several unfortunate instances, they became unwilling martyrs in the line of duty. Modern prophets, however, engage in a different kind of commerce – one of end-time prophecies, presidential predictions, and tantalizing conspiracy theories. They’ve discovered that by peddling such narratives, they can cultivate a substantial following (and fortune) without the pesky inconvenience of persecution. Their predictions, frequent as weather forecasts, continue to attract an audience despite questionable accuracy.

The Self-Appointed Role of Modern Prophets

The role of the modern prophet, paradoxically, seems to be more of a self-appointed position. Divine revelations are dispensed as casually as unexpected charges on a credit card statement. Their message veers away from calls for repentance towards more consumer-friendly demands like “Swipe right for VIP divinity!”

Exemplars of Modern-Day Prophethood

Despite this rather grim portrayal, not all is lost. There are modern individuals, devoid of self-bestowed titles, who embody the essence of what a prophet should be. Through their deeds and actions, they strive to serve their communities, guiding others toward truth, justice, and a better understanding of their world.

Profit or Prophet: A Need for Reevaluation

It’s no secret that in today’s world, “prophet” has become worryingly synonymous with “profit.” This calls for a reevaluation of our understanding of prophethood. We must resist the trend of surrendering the title to those who prioritize personal gain over spiritual guidance. We should instead value those who provide not just comforting words, but a clear mirror reflecting our responsibilities towards ourselves, our world, and our fellow beings.

Evaluating the True Worth of a Prophet

At the end of the day, the worth of a prophet should not be quantified by their social media following or luxurious accoutrements, but by their ability to humbly guide us towards mercy, justice, and perhaps, just a touch of divine wisdom.

About Stuart Delony
My hope with Snarky Faith is to incite change no matter how big or small. I want to cultivate conversations that help people to look for new ways to live out their faith. I'm also one of the weird ones that think that God still moves today - we're just looking in the wrong places. I'm here for those that are fed up with the way things are and want change. Whether you're tired of church culture or deconstructing your faith, you've got a safe space here. If you're questioning, seeking, or aren't even sure why you're here; just know it's cool, and I'm glad you showed up. It's always good to meet fellow travelers along the way, and I've learned that it's never by chance. You can read more about the author here.

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