Oil, Faith, and the American Dream It always ends in the bowling alley. Two men. One lane. One of them bleeding out on the polished wood while the other mutters, “I’m finished.” If you’ve seen There Will Be Blood, you know the scene. If you haven’t, it’s the most honest altar call American religion has ever offered, and it ends with blood on the floor. Daniel Plainview—capitalism incarnate—finally does what he’s been itching to do all along: eliminate Eli Sunday,... Read more
American Christianity never met a conspiracy theory it couldn’t baptize. Enter the Seven Mountains Mandate—a fringe wet dream that’s clawed its way out of late-night prophecy livestreams and into the bloodstream of American politics. What started as the side hustle of D‑list televangelists like Lance Wallnau and Hank Kunneman (both regulars on The Christian Crazy for their brand of prophetic idiocracy) has become a guiding theology for theocrats with actual influence. The basic pitch is this: God wants Christians to... Read more
I’ll admit it. It took me a while. But I’ve finally come around. Donald J. Trump is God’s chosen one—for such a time as this. Not because he’s righteous. Not because he’s repentant. Not because he knows the first damn thing about Jesus. But because sometimes the only way to expose rot is to rip up the floorboards. And Trump—bless his bloated, gold-leafed ego—is the blacklight America needed to see just how foul things have gotten. Especially in the church.... Read more
Somewhere along the way, Christianity stopped being a faith and became a franchise. You know the type—big budget, high stakes, clear villains, and a last-minute redemption arc. Every sermon has to feel like a movie trailer. Every testimony must build tension. And if your faith story doesn’t include a dramatic conversion and a soundtrack by Hillsong, are you even saved? Modern American Christianity doesn’t just tell stories—it’s trapped in one. And spoiler alert: it’s not the story Jesus was telling.... Read more
The MAGA mob won’t shut up about the “Epstein files.” They want the names—demanding to know which elites were part of some sinister pedophile cabal, furiously convinced a client list is out there, buried by the so-called deep state. Meanwhile, the Southern Baptist Convention has a real list. Not a myth. Not a fantasy. An actual database of confirmed abusers—promised, publicized, and still empty. You want the names? So do I. But I’m not chasing shadows—I’m looking at the goddamn... Read more
“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help…” —Psalm 121:1, featured on Camp Mystic’s website Camp Mystic looks like something out of a Southern Living fairy tale—sunlight glinting off the Guadalupe River, white-clad girls giggling on the dock, devotionals under the trees. It’s the kind of place where parents send their daughters to become wholesome, God-fearing women–with firm handshakes and Instagrammable smiles. And now it’s the site of one of the worst youth camp... Read more
It’s prophecy season again — and wouldn’t you know it? God’s apparently very concerned with your Q4 breakthrough and your destiny being unlocked. Blessings are coming, doors are opening, and the algorithm has confirmed: your next season is going to be your best yet. At least, that’s what the prophets are saying — well, the ones with merch tables and ministries that sound more like hedge funds. These aren’t the wild-eyed truth-tellers of old. No, today’s prophets are smooth-talking spiritual... Read more
They say you should never mix religion and politics. But what if your religion is politics, and your kink is the end of the world? Welcome to American evangelicalism: a faith movement so obsessed with apocalypse that it’s less about saving souls and more about watching the world burn—preferably on pay-per-view, narrated by Kirk Cameron. If you’re wondering why so many Jesus lovers are cheering on war in the Middle East, it’s not because they care about geopolitics or human... Read more
Once upon a time—specifically Acts 2—speaking in tongues was a miracle. The apostles were allegedly filled with the Holy Spirit and suddenly fluent in foreign languages to spread the gospel across cultural lines. Whether you believe it or not, at least it had a point. Fast forward a couple thousand years, and that miracle has been warped into a circus act. Today’s version? Religious noise. Nothing more than emotionally driven babble dressed up as divine. In charismatic churches, speaking in... Read more
Michael Tait is sorry. Or at least, he’s sorry enough to make Evangelicalism feel better about itself. In his statement following allegations of sexual assault and decades of substance abuse, the former DC Talk and Newsboys frontman offered up the classic Christian mea culpa: tears, Psalm 51, vague accountability, and the promise of ongoing healing “away from the stage and the spotlight.” Which, loosely translated, means: I’m going to lay low until you forget this happened and K-LOVE needs a... Read more
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