Are You Raising a Quitter?

When Quitting Makes Sense

Figuring out when a child should quit can be tricky, but here are some guidelines to consider.

• It’s not the child’s dream, but the parent’s. The parent may be the one who wants their son or daughter to become a football star, chess master or Olympic gymnast. Make sure that your child is the one driving the dream, not you.
• The child isn’t interested enough. Kids sometimes lose interest in an activity they once loved because they mature, they develop other hobbies or they realize they have no talent for that sport or activity. We all have seasons of life when we’re more passionate about a particular pastime than other, so we should give our kids permission to “put away childish things.”
• The environment is no longer safe. The composite of teams and classes changes, which can mean the security of your child can become compromised by bullying or cliques, etc. When your child no longer feels safe, it’s time to quit that activity.
• The teacher isn’t properly trained, supportive or a good fit for your child. While we can’t pick our kids’ teachers, we should ensure that they are not receiving extracurricular instruction from coaches or teachers who aren’t qualified or kind.
• The child’s frustration level rises too high. If a child comes home from the activity and practice stressed more often than happy, then it might be time to take a break. It’s never good to subject kids to long-term stress, especially teenagers.
• The child has no downtime. We often forget to build margin into our children’s schedules, and thus leave our kids and teens with little time to veg out or truly relax. Your child might need to quit an activity simply because he needs to rest more than he needs to play Little League.
• It’s no longer good for the family. A child’s involvement in an activity, even ones that are based at school, like school sports, band, theater, etc., sometimes put too much strain on the family as a unit. When that happens, it’s time for to start dropping the extras for the sake of the family.