Love Thyself
One of the most important relationships a person will ever have is with themselves. Before we can truly love another person, we need to know how to love ourselves. Have you ever noticed that your thoughts catch up to you when you’re alone?
For many, this is the reason that they don’t like to be alone. It’s also a reason many people jump from one relationship to another. They’re afraid to be alone, by themselves. If you can identify with this, you’re not alone.
Many people struggle to love themselves and embrace their personal alone time. Many of us have been guilty of looking at someone else and wondering, “How come they have everything and I have nothing?” Sometimes, we have to look deeper to see the reality.
Before we can love anyone else, the Bible tells us that we have to God, then love ourselves. Then, we have to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. Ouch! Sometimes that can be very difficult.
Matthew 22: 38-39 37 Jesus replied:“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and mind.’[c]38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[d]
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
It’s easy to get caught up in “Keeping up with the Jones,” but it’s an important lesson to learn. We look around us and see others who seemingly have it all: a great job, a great spouse, good kids, and a wonderful life.
We watch as if we’re watching them from a window, and perhaps we are. It’s so easy to want what others have. It’s easy to get caught up in the ideology of “If only I could have their life, I’d be happy.” Oddly, we’re never happy when we finally have what they have.
Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
Maybe you, like me, have looked into the mirror and asked yourself why God didn’t make you taller or leave off the freckles. Yet, the above verse clearly tells us that we’re created in God’s own image. If that’s the case, why don’t we all look alike?
It’s simple: God designed us in his human image. We are wonderfully created. Each of us is our own unique person. That being said, we need to stop comparing ourselves to others. God gave each of us our own unique talents and gifts. It would be a pretty boring world if we were all identical. When God created us in his own image, he wasn’t referring to our height, weight, or hair color but to the fact that we’re human.
Be Kind To Yourself
Before we can be kind to others, we need to start with ourselves. Learn to spend your alone time not longing for something that isn’t there or isn’t yours, but rather embrace the alone time to better yourself. If you’re lonely, find a funny movie and take your pet for a walk. Go to a movie by yourself and enjoy not having to share your popcorn.
There are so many ways to enjoy your alone time when you’re alone that you’ll soon forget you were alone. Read a good book. Eat your favorite snack. Take a long soak in the tub or a long shower without worrying about someone else needing the bathroom. Once you’re married and have kids, you’ll be glad you enjoyed this time.
Give yourself permission to be happy. Give yourself permission to enjoy life. The Apostle Paul sums it up quite well in this verse:
1 Corinthians 7:8-9 8 Now to the unmarried[a]and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.9. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
There’s nothing wrong with you if you choose to be single. Not everyone gets married. Not everyone yearns to have a family. Some people are designed to do other things and embrace other responsibilities.
See The Value In Yourself
Stop comparing yourself to others. See your value. Don’t worry about what others think. Go ahead and join in on a conversation. Give your opinion. Share your thoughts. One of the things we all do is second-guess ourselves.
“Should I have said that?” or “Why did I even open my mouth? No one cares what I think.” Guess what? Your thoughts and opinions are just as important as other people’s thoughts and opinions. If anyone tries to tell you that your opinion doesn’t matter. It may be time to take a long, hard look at that friendship and let go of the toxic person.
Instead of feeling like everyone is staring at you, consider that perhaps they’re looking at your confidence. I personally am an introvert, and I am very nervous about stepping out of my comfort zone. I feel like people are staring at me and judging me. It’s taken a lot for me to step out of that comfort zone and join in on conversations.
Once you step out of your comfort zone, you’ll find it gets easier every time. Trust your instinct. Trust that you have value and worth. Of course, you already know all of your flaws and mistakes. You know yourself.
Allow yourself the benefit of the doubt. Allow yourself to forgive yourself. You’re no different than anyone else, and you shouldn’t hide the fact that you have an idea or opinion when you’re out with a group. Everyone makes mistakes; own the mistake, pick yourself up, and move on.
Love One Another
Now that you know how to be alone. Now that you know how to join in a conversation without fear, you can join in and learn to love others. When the Bible says, “Love your neighbor as yourself, ” it tells us to be nice to others.
It’s not always easy. When your neighbor does something wrong, such as stealing something of yours or damaging your property, it’s easy to become angry and vindictive. I remember a conversation with my dad one afternoon after some ‘friends’ stole something of mine at school.
I was angry and mad, and I was out for revenge. Of course, this is when my dad gave me his “sermonette” on “Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord. ” I argued. I pleaded. That’s when my dad brought up the “Forgive 70 X 7.” Of course, I did the math. I told my dad that I would count to 490, and then I would be vindictive. That’s when my dad sent me back to the Bible verse:
Romans 12: 19-21 19. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[a] says the Lord 20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[b] 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Lesson’s Learned
It’s not always easy to love our neighbors; it’s not always easy to forgive. Leave the vengeance to God and live your life as god has ordained you to live it. You’ll be a lot happier. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget what the person did wrong to you; it just allows you to move on and not think of it over and over again.
One of the biggest lessons I learned in life was to love myself. Before being happily married, going out on a date, or entering a courtship, I had to learn to love myself. I had to learn that I was a valuable human being. My opinions and thoughts were just as important as others. Only then could I avoid being in an abusive or controlling relationship?
Love yourself before you embark on finding a boyfriend or girlfriend. Love yourself enough to set your boundaries and choose your friends. You’re worth it.
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