I shouldn’t have to tell people this, but: if you penatrate a person’s anus or vagina, however slightly, with any body part or instrument, against their will, that is rape. It’s rape every time. It’s rape if they drank too much and passed out. It’s rape if she’s your wife. It’s rape if you were angry rather than sexually aroused. It’s rape if you tricked or threatened her instead of physically holding her down. It’s rape if the victim is male. It’s rape if the rapist is a woman. It’s rape if the rapist himself was sexually abused as a child.
Rape is a mortal sin. Rape is one of the few crimes I can think of wherein the rapist is always committing a mortal sin. You can kill someone in self-defense. You can steal because you’re starving. You can lie and perjure yourself out of fear of consequences. But you can’t rape for a good reason. Rape is always a mortal sin. It always means you’re a horrible, cold-blooded and violent monster and you ought to spend the rest of your life rotting in jail. Even if you’re an athlete with potential. Even if you’ve never done it before. Even if you just meant it in fun.
Even if she left herself vulnerable in some way or another. We’re all vulnerable, all the time. You can reduce your chances of being raped, but you’re always vulnerable. It can happen to you. It can happen to you if you’re male. It can happen to you if you’re a body builder or a martial artist. It can happen to you if you carry a whistle or a switchblade or a can of mace. It can happen if you go to the bathroom in groups and never get drunk. It can happen if you practice “courtship.” It can happen to you. You are not different than I am. One day, you could be the one who is told you have “unresolved issues” because someone doesn’t want to hear about what happened. You could be the one who was told you shouldn’t have done whatever it is you did. You could be the one who feels filthy and ashamed, as if you’re the one in mortal sin, and everyone will act as if you’re right to feel ashamed.
No one deserves rape. Not drunk women, not sorority girls, not people who wear short skirts, not girls who date abusive men, not trans people or gay people or transvestites or intersex people. Not even rapists. Nothing justifies it, ever.
To any rape survivors reading this: it’s not your fault, it’s your rapist’s fault. Always. Whatever you’re telling yourself about what you could have done differently, whatever’s been said to you about purity: it’s still not your fault. You’re pure and they’re not. They’ve made themselves filthy and it’s all. Their. Fault. You’re not evil for being raped, you’re not crazy for talking about it. You’re not the one who is wrong. On behalf of all Catholics I apologize for any Catholics who haven’t made that absolutely clear.
(Image via pixabay)
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In