She announced that we were dressing up as patron saints to go trick-or-treating. She had already made my Saint Queen Elizabeth of Hungary costume, since my middle name was Elizabeth; my brother Mike was getting a Saint Michael tunic and leggings. My brother Charles was dressing up as Saint Maximilian Kolbe, seeing as a Saint Charles Borromeo costume would be difficult to sew in one day. We got called “Maid Marian, Robin Hood and Friar Tuck” by the neighbors, which I didn’t mind.
I did, however, mind the rest of the decorations. My mother had cut out gigantic white-robed, silvery-winged prayerful angels and pasted them all around the front porch. She had a tape recorder playing Gregorian Chant hidden behind the the pumpkins. We were celebrating All Saint’s Day, she said, not Halloween, never mind that we were trick-or-treating on Beggar’s Night. I was mortified.
No witches visited our house that night. Frankly, I was surprised that anybody at all had the courage to approach that porch, but the lure of candy won out.
Next year was worse. You see, we were the more liberal members of that Charismatic Community; the others didn’t even allow Halloween to be mentioned or celebrated. The next year we did it their way. The next year, costumes and decorations were entirely forbidden; the chance of a witch was too great. We had to lock up the house and go to the “People of God’s Love Harvest Party” instead of celebrating at all. The next year, you couldn’t put a bed sheet over your head and go “WOOOOOOOO” even in the privacy of your own home, even for a joke. It was considered too dangerous. But we’ll talk about that episode another day.
I want to give some advice to any of my Catholic readers who still don’t know, in light of the coming festival: seasonal decor is not a witch repellent. Practitioners of Wicca won’t be lured to your property by Jack O’Lanterns and they won’t be kept away by Gregorian chant. And this is good, because our faith is not about shunning people. We as Christians should recognize the face of Christ behind a witch mask or any other kind of mask, welcome all and give everyone treats. No, you won’t come down with a demonic possession just by having people who practice other religions nearby. And by the way, witches do not actually worship the devil. Decorate your home in a way you find fun, whether it’s cardboard angels or inflatable spiders or Dollar Tree skeletons. But most importantly, decorate your hearts with charity and hospitality, and open the doors of your home in love. There’s no room for demonic possession in a soul possessed by Love Himself.
I want to say something to any witches who might read Steel Magnificat, too. All one or two of you. Guys, I’m sorry I was wrong about your religion for so long. You’re welcome here at Halloween, whether I’ve got a Jack O’Lantern on the porch or not. Atheists and agnostics are welcome too. Jews and Muslims. Christians and Buddhists and Hindus and all kinds of people. I welcome you in the name of Christ Jesus, Lord of Times and Seasons, who brings us the Autumn and this wonderful spooky time of year. Let’s drink warm apple cider and try on masks. Let’s make popcorn balls. Let’s not bob for apples, not because you might get possessed but because you might catch a head cold or something gross like that. Let’s watch The Shining five times in a row and argue about the hidden narratives.
One more thing. Pick up the bed sheet. Put it over your head. All right now, on the count of three, one… two… three…
“WOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Thanks, I’ve been wanting to do that for years.
Happy Autumn!
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