LifeSite News has Lost It

LifeSite News has Lost It February 6, 2017

Some of you may recall that, back in March of 2013, a sneaky Jesuit seized control of the Vatican on the paltry excuse that he was elected Pope by the College of Cardinals. That’s right, I’m talking about Pope Francis. It is not widely known that Pope Francis is an alias, but it’s the truth. You can look it up. Before 2013, a man matching Pope Francis’s exact description was living in Argentina under the name of Jorge Mario Bergoglio. That’s a foreign name if I ever heard one. Sounds like a brand of pasta sauce– not good old American Chef Boyardee, but fancy pasta sauce that comes in glass jars. In March of 2013, Bergoglio disappeared off the face of the earth and Pope Francis was in total control of the Church. Within four years of that day, the United States also held an election– an election in which Donald Trump’s right to rule was inexplicably challenged by nearly every single American who disapproved of what he said and did.

What does this have to do with the conspiracy to make people hate Donald Trump? Perhaps nothing. But I am telling you all of this so that you, the reader, can make up your own mind, and I’m doing it in spite of the very real personal risk that if I get any better at writing crackpot conspiracy theories, LifeSite News is going to offer me a lucrative job. Because that above paragraph is way more plausible and entertaining than what Jalsevac actually said about our Holy Father. Seriously, LifeSite, you’re throwing your money away.

Jalsevac says that “It is clear, despite the president’s personal flaws, that he is doing many right things. He would not be so intensely hated by all these people if he were not.” Somehow I doubt that. Especially since plenty of people despised Donald Trump when he was only a billionaire playboy who identified as a pro-choice democrat.  I daresay even more did then, than do now. LifeSite and others hadn’t declared him the messiah back then.

The article concludes with an exhortation to pray for the President and a quote from Pope Saint John Paul the Second.

And what evidence does Jalsevac provide for his claims?

Where is the smoking gun, the hastily burnt documents, the paper trail? Where is the reluctant witness, whispering over coffee? Where are the telltale audio cassettes? Where is the secret informant in the parking garage whispering “follow the money?”

Well, the absolute only shreds of evidence provided for these claims, are the video by Remnant TV  and a list of allegedly Soros-funded organizations compiled by “Truth and Action.” I guess you’re just supposed to know that by “New World Order” the speakers on the video mean everyone implicated in Jalsevac’s conspiracy theory and nobody else.

And how do these organizations work together to poison the public mind against an ill-mannered billionaire cad with a fondness for beauty pageants?  How did they trick us into hating such a man? How could they possibly pull off such a feat?

Jalsevac doesn’t say anything about that either.

I must say, when all’s said and done: at least he didn’t mention that old chestnut about Katy Perry being JonBenet Ramsey. That might have made him look silly.

(image via Pixabay)


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