Then we have the examples of the other saints, a motley crew and very few of them attractive. We have women who willingly endured being dismembered, suffocated, burned and fed to lions rather than allow themselves to be a catch for some man, because they had chosen to serve the Lord instead. Yes, they were virgins, but not so that they could get a husband. Quite the contrary. We have women who cut off their hair or did worse things to make themselves unattractive so men would leave them alone and they could keep serving the Lord. We have women who spent their lives caring for lepers and condemned prisoners, making themselves repulsive to choosy men; we have scholars, writers and lippy dames who called out Popes and worldly rulers; we have women who started out very attractive to men indeed, so attractive they had men every day, but they repented of it and went off to pray in the desert until sunburn had completely ruined their good looks.
There are also wives and mothers in the Communion of Saints– lots of them, starting with the Blessed Virgin. Our Way of the Cross leads through a busy household with a husband and children to love and care for, and that is wonderful. I’m a wife and mother, and by the mercy of Christ I hope to be a saint someday in spite of my unworthiness. I hope we all do. I pray that everyone reading this becomes a saint, whether you’re a wife and mother, a wife who wants to be a mother, a brain surgeon, a wife and mother who’s also a brain surgeon, a debt-free virgin, a college professor, nun, a man or any other sort of human being. If you are a human person, it is your vocation to become a saint through the mercy of God.
But you can’t be a saint if your first concern is being pleasing to men.
None of us is called to conform ourselves to the desires of men.
As Saint Paul stated and the Transformed Wife for some reason put on the banner of her blog, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” That which is Good and Acceptable and Perfect is Christ, the Son of God. You shall worship the Lord your God; Him will you serve, not men. Serve Him and do His will whether He calls you to go to college or go to a leper colony, to a convent or a suburb or to the ends of the earth. Don’t serve the whims of men.
In the course of serving Christ, you may well find yourself a debt-free virgin with no tattoos and very attractive to a certain kind of man. But you must not ever fall into the trap of believing that attracting men is your true vocation. If a marriage is part of your vocation, God will arrange that. You don’t bother about it, and follow Christ. A man who doesn’t want someone who is foremost a follower of Christ is not worthy to marry a follower of Christ.
Men may well prefer debt-free virgins with no education and no tattoos, but who cares?
(image via Pixabay)
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