It’s Wednesday of Holy Week. Holy Thursday is tomorrow. This is the most important week of the Church calendar. I should be talking about the Gospel. I could talk about the Gospel for yesterday, when Jesus tells His apostles that one would betray Him. I was just thinking the other day that He may not have just been talking about Judas. Which of the apostles didn’t betray Him? Peter, John and James fell asleep. Peter denied even knowing Him and... Read more
I went to Mass. I’m not saying you should do what I do. If you have religious trauma like mine, you probably shouldn’t. But I used to love Holy Week so much, I decided to try it out. It hurt like hell. I guess there’s a certain appropriateness to that. I stood in the foyer and couldn’t get any further. My stomach started to churn as soon as I saw the priests in their red robes. My heart raced.... Read more
Tomorrow is Palm Sunday. This miserable Lent of Invitation and Accompaniment is nearly over. I had a plan, if my car somehow got fixed in time, to take a day in the week before Holy Week to drive to Pittsburgh, bribe myself with sashimi and a trip to a museum, and go to confession at that church I know with the fortress of a confessional, a confessional build like a closet with no way the terrifying priest could get around... Read more
She was just one of those people I met, a long time ago, when I was at Franciscan University. She wasn’t somebody I knew. She was only somebody who hung out with somebody else I knew, so I saw her from time to time. Once I went with her and a group of friends on a hike at Raccoon Creek State Park, in March, when the world is returning to life. I was in my good shoes, which got... Read more
Today is an historic day. In case you’re just joining us: today it was announced that a Grand Jury in the state of New York has voted to indict former reality TV star Donald Trump. This is the first of what promises to be a slew of criminal indictments for Trump: he’s currently under investigation for his treasonous actions on January Sixth, for tax fraud, for election tampering, and I can’t even remember what else. No other ex-president in... Read more
The panic was severe for the longest time, and then it evaporated. The insomnia went on and on, and then I fell asleep. I was more afraid than I’d ever been, and suddenly I couldn’t feel fear even if I wanted to. I felt the opposite of fear, which is not well-being but despair. I felt depression. It wasn’t very bad depression, just the few days of emotional exhaustion that always follow my most severe OCD and anxiety. I didn’t... Read more
A long time ago, when I was a teenager, I was taken to a banquet to raise money for a crisis pregnancy center. It was one of those galas where you pay a high cover price to get in, and they serve you a dinner and dessert, and then you listen to a sermon telling you why you should pony up even more money. I suppose everybody goes to such a banquet, for one cause or another, at some... Read more
I don’t think I’m going to church today. As I write this, my ride will be here in an hour, to take the family to an evening Mass. But my spectacular failure two weeks ago is making me sick just thinking about it. The panic attack was too severe. I spent the next week with the worst anxiety of my life. The heart racing, the night terrors, the obsessive compulsive loops that went on for hours were too much. I think... Read more
It was evening but not yet dark, when the Lost Girl texted me. “My neighbor’s house is on fire.” Houses burn in LaBelle. Often it’s the faulty electricity, which nobody can afford to update. Sometimes it’s a person whose gas has been shut off for a late payment, trying to survive a cold night on a space heater that overwhelms the wiring. Sometimes it’s homeless people squatting in a derelict and trying to light a campfire. Several years ago we... Read more
He’s back in the news again, as ever: former reality TV star and failed politician Donald Trump. Donald Trump who lost the popular vote but won the electoral college to the least likeable Democratic candidate in recent history in 2016. Donald Trump who proceeded to helm the Republican party in to monumental losses in 2018, 2020, and 2022. The thrice-married philanderer backed by those who believe in “traditional marriage.” The man who was going to save the unborn... Read more
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