Here’s a question to mull over this Christmas season: when we talk of Christ and his ultimate gift, who is the gift for? When does Christ’s hand of mercy really reveal itself? Certainly, I think that when Christ instructs us in Matthew 25: 40, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me,” he was referring to people who might say, “I’m not worth it. If you really knew me, you’d be done with me.”
Anyways, “Ben is Back” follows one family during a twenty-four hour period covering Christmas Eve and morning when the oldest son, a drug addict in rehab, surprises them with a visit home. This is exactly what Holly, Ben’s mother, wanted for Christmas, but this reunion will test the strength of this family, especially the love between Holly and Ben, as Ben’s demons seek to take him away from them once and for all.
Ben insists he’s had a miraculous recovery, such that coming home is just what he needs. This is of course exactly what Holly wants to hear, but both Holly’s husband and her oldest daughter are willing to remind her that is exactly what an addict would say. (We also assume there are subterranean motivations here that have to do with this family’s history, the details of which are hinted at in the film.) Holly is absolutely taking a stance in embracing her son.
That is what gives this scenario so much tension. A parent’s most essential function is to support and sustain their kid, to believe in them when no one else will. This film outlines how addicts like Ben will exploit that trust to engage in destructive behavior. The vulnerability, of course, happens on both ends. The parent is leaving themselves open to the heartbreak that comes with loving someone with an addiction. The manipulating, the worrying, the devastation. And the movie goes a long way to trace out the complex psychology and family dynamics of loving an addict. Entire plot points are built around deconstructing root causes and effects. This midnight chase that takes up the last half of the film is effectively Ben’s sins rising up to punish him.
Yet even in his downward spiral, in the tempest he creates in returning home, Ben still demonstrates virtue, valiance, sacrifice, all the traits we associate with being a good person–a person who tries. Even as manipulation and relapse happen, we are meant to see that Ben still has a penitent heart and honestly wrestling with his demons. This film understands that the gap between wanting to do the right thing–by yourself, by your loved ones–and mastering your proclivities is wide. Most people have to make a few leaps before they can clear it. Loving a person with that experience can be difficult, but as someone tells Holly midway through, “We can’t save them. But you’ll hate yourself if you don’t try.”
I’m choosing this as Sublime Cinema’s Christmas movie this year, as opposed to something like Elf, very deliberately. I consider this movie to be one of my essential Christmas watches. Because unlike something like Die Hard whose claim to Christmas-dom is merely incidentally taking place on Christmas (I’m sorry folks, but you might as well know where I stand on this issue), the aims of this film run parallel to the sentiment of the Christmas observance in its most original, spiritual sense.
Christmas isn’t just a time to think about reindeer and snowmen. It isn’t even just a time to think about nativity sets. It’s a time where we think about who it is Christ came to minister to, and how we can learn to emulate these qualities ourselves.
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In