The Goodbye Girl is one of my favorite movies in that it does something I wish more movies would do: it makes you really irritated with its main characters. Coming a few weeks off discussing Scarlet O’Hara, one of my favorite film characters, I am compelled to again reflect on how validating it is to see people onscreen who don’t know how to navigate this world any more gracefully than the rest of us. If they can land somewhere nice, maybe we can too.
Through a confluence of circumstances, Paula and her daughter are forced to share their New York apartment with a self-important actor, Elliot, both of them certain they are entitled to this space. The apartment is leased in his name, but what’s the guy gonna do? Kick a woman and her kid out on the street? This is not a living situation either of them are happy with, and this is only exacerbated by their irritating character quirks. Their sleeping schedules. Their houseguests. Paula explains to Elliot, “I don’t know you well enough to truly dislike you, but you are simply too weird to live with.”
And this sets the stage for their electric arguments. As with all great banter, their ability to cut one another with words reveals a shared sharpness that only further proves their compatibility. But they’ll take a while before they realize this.
There’s an episode where Paula is robbed on the streets, losing all her money in the process, while she and Elliot are grocery shopping. Elliot will actually run after the car that stole Paula’s bags attempting to get them back (he is not successful), but Paula’s first instinct is to direct her rage at Elliot. He’s obviously not at fault, but the gangsters are rolling down the street, and Elliot’s right here.
And this is part of what I mean when I say it’s a little validating to watch people who don’t have their act together. Maybe you’ve never treated someone who helped you like this, but you’ve probably been in a place where you thought, “How the heck did this happen to me?” You probably also know it’s not a great place to be. And you know what it means to have someone who gives you a break when you feel you’re about to break. Invoking Blanche Dubois, Paula confesses, “I’m not used to the kindness of strangers.” By the end of this episode, Paula’s still broke, but she does get to know what it’s like to have someone join her at rock bottom, and she gets the chance to overcome her insecurities and reciprocate his consideration–which isn’t exactly second nature to him either.
Paula will get to return the favor as Elliot navigates his own lows. His spin as Richard III winds up belly-flopping, and he lasts one whole night as a night club bouncer. As they learn to support each other in their low-points, celebrating each other in their high-points becomes second nature. Turns out being nice to each other comes a lot more naturally than they’d initially thought.
Through the process, they both become less rigid. They become more comfortable with themselves and the burdens they must shoulder. They also get better at calling out one another’s blind spots and pushing each other to their best selves. Eventually, that will mean pushing each other to commit to this partnership and remain open to how they can help one another.
So their baggage and their flaws are what initially set them at each other’s throats, but with only a little change in perspective, their low points become the things that draw them together, such that they can’t bear to let each other go, warts and all.
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