Teaching Kids Compassion in a Divided Culture

Monkey see, monkey do. Little pictures have big ears. These are a couple of phrases I remember my mother and grandmother saying about how children learn; the point being that kids learn by watching their grownups. And in a divided culture like ours, teaching kids compassion often starts with how we speak, listen, and respond when the world feels anything but kind.

Have you been watching the news lately? How ‘bout social media? We are living in scary times, my friends.

Let’s discuss the current social landscape. The climate has shifted from the ideals I remember being taught, where we avoid public discourse on religion, politics, and paychecks, to cancel or call-out culture, political polarization, and the “us versus them” mentality we see today.

Gone are the days when if you don’t have something nice to say, you should say nothing at all. What’s even more alarming is that this is everywhere—from personal social media accounts across platforms to celebrities using their fame to take a side on various issues around the world.

And as if that weren’t enough exposure, our kids are also seeing it at school and in their friendship circles.

Christians often have a reputation for being judgmental. Visit any comment section and learn more than you ever wanted to about how nonbelievers see us as a group.

This is heartbreaking to me. In a world that rewards being right on a scale of only black and white, the Christian calling is to be loving above all else. That nature must be passed down to our children.

Colossians 3:12 (NIV) says, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

Raising empathetic children isn’t just a social skill; it’s a spiritual discipline. But how do we teach children compassion in our divided culture? Let’s talk about it.

Embracing Otherness with Empathy

Empathy starts by recognizing that every person, even those we disagree with, is made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27, NIV). If God loves humanity, then we should too. Remember, Jesus showed righteous anger once—with corrupt religious leaders, not people society considers “less than.” In fact, it was the people society often judged whom He shared meals and lodging with.

The scripture supports this.

Teaching children to be compassionate, kind, and well-rounded means encouraging them to embrace people who are different from them.

I heard a TikToker who teaches young children theater from kindergarten through middle school, talk about the sadness he feels as he watches “the light dim” in the kids he teaches.

He explained that in kindergarten, kids seem to have no fear; they are bold and brave, and they embrace their own “weirdness.” Then, by middle school, these same kiddos have learned to “read the room.” They look around before raising their hands to speak, or they clam up altogether.

I think this is the time when children start gravitating toward people with whom they can fit in. Maybe these young folks look and think like them. This solidifies their bubbles.

If we are going to learn to be compassionate, that means breaking free from our bubble and shifting our lens to see the world the way other people do. This naturally broadens our horizons.

From there, we should lead our children by example. This means helping people not only even if they are different but especially. Luke 10:23-37 (NIV) takes the time to show us how we should behave through The Parable of the Good Samaritan.

Let’s discuss some practical steps we can take to teach our babies empathy and compassion.

Modeling Grace in Conversation

Kids learn more from how they hear their parents talk about the news or a new neighbor than from anything we tell them directly.

Let me give an example: we have a neighbor whose teenager has learning and sensory differences. When they first moved in, my husband and I introduced ourselves. They apologized upfront for “being loud” sometimes and told us to let them know if we ever felt bothered.

They are a sweet family. Their kiddos are sweet. Our response was, “Hey, we have young kids and dogs and are quite loud ourselves. You aren’t gonna bother us.” And of course we offered the same—”please let us know if we are too loud.”

The first time our boys heard a meltdown next door it made them nervous. We talked about how some people experience sensory information differently and that what they heard was okay.

When they see the family, they greet them by name with smiles even if a meltdown is happening in the front yard. If we had modeled judgmental behavior, the kids would have copied that. This is where empathy starts.

Teaching also involves digital discipleship. When we interact online it is easy to forget that people are on the other side of the screen. Our two younger kids get one hour of screen time on a device each day and are too young to join community games or social media, but we still talk about it.

Our teenager, meanwhile, is 16 years old and isn’t allowed to have a social media account yet either. But, he enjoys watching TikTok videos and reading memes with his dad and me, and he loves scrolling through Reddit on his phone.

He really likes reading what he calls ‘drama posts’. We use this opportunity to model how we comment on posts and to discuss posts that aren’t kind. It’s a pretty organic way to discuss more compassionate responses or even the option of scrolling without commenting.

We remind our son that, on the other side of that screen, there is another human with a heart and feelings. How we make others feel matters in person and in digital spaces.

Comments in person or online should align with Proverbs 15:1 (NIV), “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Perspective Matters

Kids can learn a lot through media as well. In fact, never underestimate the power of storytelling. We can use books, movies, and real-life scenarios to ask, “How do you think that person or character felt when ___ happened?”

I often do this with our 8- and 9-year-olds. For example, they enjoy the movie The Wild Robot. If you haven’t watched it, it’s a charming film based on a beautiful children’s book series, featuring an all-star cast. Anyway… a young gosling (Brightbill) is essentially adopted by a robot who receives help from an unlikely source, a fox. Because of this, the young gosling is raised in a family that looks different from other animals in the woods where they live.

Brightbill struggles to make friends. There are several scenes where other geese are cruel to him. The boys commented that the geese were mean. I asked how they thought Brightbill felt.

These conversations can serve as a turning point from simply seeing someone else’s reality through their experiences to actively learning how to listen to others and understand perspectives different from their own. Asking questions and teaching kids to listen to understand, rather than just respond, is a very important Christian skill.

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19, NIV).

Serving Others Cultivates Compassion

1 John 3:18 (NIV) gives us as Christians instructions to “not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”

Age-appropriate opportunities offer a hands-on way to teach empathy to children. Just as reading and exercising promote healthier minds and bodies, helping others strengthens our hearts. It all comes down to muscle memory. The more we practice an activity, the more it becomes second nature.

There are many ways we can help others that only require our time. Consider teaching simple acts of kindness, like helping kids make cards for nursing home residents, soldiers, or other children in the hospital.

Another option is donating outgrown books, toys, and clothes. Many churches hold donation drives throughout the year.  Goodwill, Salvation Army, or Catholic Charities are good agencies to support through donation.

In our area, small agencies and churches seek blanket and coat donations during winter to distribute to those in need. If we are busy helping others we have less time to engage in divided culture arguments.

Lastly, conversations about our kids daily life has an impact. If we ask about the folks they know, their friends, classmates, teachers, then we can help guide them toward treating people who are different from them with compassion, respect and inclusivity.

Conversations about the most vulnerable among us, including those with unseen traits such as learning differences, disabilities, or children whose parents have faced job loss, homelessness, food insecurity, and discrimination, can serve as a gentle reminder that we don’t always understand what our neighbors experience behind the scenes.

A smile and kindness can go a long way with people, regardless of political party or religious beliefs. Jesus calls us, as Christians, to be kind and to love our neighbors, whether or not we agree with their lifestyle and beliefs.

Handling the Hard Part

Honestly, we live in a corrupt and harsh world. So, how do we respond to bullies or people with different viewpoints compassionately without giving up our beliefs? To be honest, I’d like to wait until I can ask Jesus about it. But avoidance doesn’t solve the problem, nor does it help the kids learn how to navigate society at large.

I’m no expert on this subject. In my opinion we have to look to the scriptures. How did Jesus handle those with opposing views?

There is a difference between staying silent to “keep the peace” and striving to be like Jesus, a peacemaker. Understanding this difference and modeling it to teach our kids is our best defense.

I believe that using active listening, engaging in friendly debate and discourse, and using “I” statements instead of “you” statements to avoid seeming accusatory are positive steps forward.

Reading the Bible as a family equips kids with words straight from God and allows them to refer to scripture to support their arguments.

The goal is to be firm in their beliefs while accepting and loving their neighbors. Matthew 5:9 (NIV) tells us how God views the role of peacemaker. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”

Play the Long Game

The only thing more frightening than living in the world is raising kids in it. How do we protect them? How do we ensure they grow into the kind, loving people they’re meant to be?

Conversation and modeling behavior encourage kids to develop and imitate the behaviors we want them to adopt. By raising empathetic children, we aren’t just protecting them from the world; we’re preparing them to change it through compassion and inclusivity.

Remember, this journey is a marathon, not a sprint. Empathy and compassion are like muscles; they don’t develop overnight. It takes time and intention to see the benefits.

In closing, Micah 6:8 (NIV) serves as a reminder that God has shown us “what is good.” We are called to “act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with God.”

In short, I believe teaching kids compassion in a divided culture comes down to talking to them and doing our best to demonstrate Christlike behavior in all our interactions, because little pictures do indeed have big ears and even if we don’t think they are, our kids are listening, watching, and learning.