April 7, 2023

Judas has captured my attention the past few weeks. As I have read and reread the story of Jesus telling Judas that he is the one who will betray the Son of God, I am struck with an admiration for Judas. I don’t admire his willingness to give up his Master to people that would want to kill him. I don’t admire his deceptive thoughts as it related to taking money to give up a man. I admire his willingness... Read more

March 29, 2023

As a writer, I am struck with the capacities and opportunities that Artificial intelligence is currently giving us and the promise of what it can do for humanity in the future. But behind the shiny new creations and data producing robots, there may be a more sinister entrapment that we need to consider. I am not a conspiracy theorist, nor do I think that Artificial intelligence is here to ‘take over’ the universe. I think AI has its’ place in... Read more

March 24, 2023

“What caused you to drink?” This was a question that was asked at a recovery meeting that I recently attended. I had to stop and think about the question for awhile, because there wasn’t an answer that immediately popped into my head. I drank because I liked the effect that alcohol had on my body. I relaxed when I drank. The pressures and strains of life seemed to disappear momentarily. I forgot about the pain and regret of the past,... Read more

December 2, 2022

I was asked these simple questions on the alcoholism assessment intake, as my life unraveled around me. 1. Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking? 2. Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking? 3. Have you ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking? 4. Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or to get rid of a hangover (eye-opener)? I know for me, I was able... Read more

November 3, 2022

I’m married and have been for 13 years. I love my wife, care deeply about her, and want to spend the rest of my life with her. I made myself a promise early in marriage that I would never cheat on my wife with any other person. This was for many good reasons, and those reasons still remain true today. What I didn’t anticipate in our marriage were the affairs that could be had that were outside of relationships with... Read more

April 8, 2022

I was fired in 2018 from the church that I was serving at for alcohol abuse. In a myriad of roles at the church, from Executive Pastor, Church Planter, Youth Pastor, and Campus Pastor, I spanned the continuum of church experience. During those experiences though, I dealt with deep pain. Each church made a different mark on me. From abuse in leadership to personal attacks from good friends to abandonment in leadership decisions, I still experience what counselors have told... Read more

March 1, 2022

I stepped up onto the stage to do my weekly duty of giving the announcements, ask for money for our church, and pray. I also was tasked with making a seamless transition from the heartfelt song sung prior to the clunkiest part of the morning and then back into meaningful praise and worship afterward. Prayer was often the ‘go-to’ for this transition. It wasn’t communicating information, but it also wasn’t singing a song. It was a spiritual act that would... Read more

February 21, 2022

This is not a theological post. This is not a post to start an argument. This is not a blog where I desire to convince someone of the “John Calvin” view of God or the opposing viewpoint. This is also not a post where I claim to be any sort of bible scholar (God knows I am anything but that.) With all of those caveats… Only God knows why this year happened. But God knows. I don’t know why this... Read more

February 18, 2022

Deconstructing my own life was pretty easy. I drank alcohol. Lots of alcohol. It tore my life apart, left me with nothing, and damn near killed me. The process that followed was more difficult but provided a way of life that was doable. Recovery was one of the more difficult ventures that I have ever been a part of. It hasn’t been the most difficult. Deconstructing my own faith has been, by far, the most difficult and taxing activity that... Read more

February 16, 2022

I walked through the restaurant and at the front door, there was a gumball machine. My 8 year old looked up at me as she always does when we go by gum ball machine and asked if she could get one. Usually I don’t carry any quarters, but today, I had one in my pocket. I pulled the quarter out, handed it to her, and she proceeded to put the quarter in the machine. She pulled the lever, and a... Read more

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