They went off and eloped!

Arghghgh!

Here in New York, people get married, you give them money – it’s a simple thing. If you can be very generous, you are generous; if you can’t afford much, you give what you can and stuff the card with lottery tickets. If you don’t know the people well, you try to at least “cover the cost” of your reception plate and add a bit extra – maybe the cost of one extra plate.

This can get pricey, but hey – it’s a wedding. It only happens once, you hope.

It may sound crass, but money is a very good wedding gift for a couple starting out and it has the extra advantage of not making you nuts as you try to pick an appropriate gift.

Elopements, that’s a different story. One wants to give a gift, and one is actually kind of grateful that the elopement makes moot all the rules about how generous or ungenerous to be. It’s rather freeing, actually, especially when you know the elopees aren’t even looking for any gifts. They’re just happy to be married and getting on with things, so the gift is simply fun for them and for the giver.

It’s fun until you have to make a decision on the gift. Then – if you are indecisive, as I am, it’s ugh.

A young (okay late 20’s) couple we know who are not terribly concerned with material things went off and eloped – they’re figuring to marry again in Israel at some point. We are very happy for them; they’re lovely people and they seem like each other’s very best friend, so this is all good.

But I can’t decide which Seder plate I want to give them! I like both of these! I’ve already picked out a nice tablecloth and napkin set (white-on-white with very pretty striping), but I wanted to give a Seder plate, too.

Okay, ladies…your opinions, please?

I’m leading toward the second one, but I know that I’m a sucker for those colors, so I don’t trust myself. My husband, of course, does not care. Any thoughts?